Last week was very stressful for a number of reasons. The weekend was worse. So on the one hand, I'm not surprised that I had these dreams. On the other hand, I think they go deeper and I don't know what they're *really* about.
- First dream involved Yubo smoking right in front of me. I threw a major fit, cussing and yelling (although it felt constrained, like when you try to run or punch in a dream but your legs are heavy and your fist is weak and slow). He just looked at me, unaffected. He wasn't happy, sad, angry, indignant. Nothing. And when I ran off, he didn't follow me.
My interpretation of this was, it's not that I'm paranoid about his smoking (although I still am at times). I feel like I don't affect him. Part of this stems from realizing that I don't know what turns him on. That extends to not really knowing what he likes aside from gaming. ((When I want to do something nice for him, it usually involves enhancing his gaming, even though I really hate that he games so much -- for instance, I just bought him a charging station for his XBox controllers.)) And I can trace that back to feelings I've had before that we're really just leading very separate lives, and we've been separate for so long that we simply don't know each other anymore. And what we do know is very vague and surface.
- The second dream was this morning. We were out with friends or something, and ended up watching a movie that kept us out late. Upon exiting the theater or something, he wasn't with me. I tried calling him, and he never answered his phone. I just couldn't find him or get a hold of him. At some point I went back to the entrance of the theater, from which he emerged looking half asleep. I yelled at him because all that searching and waiting for him kept us out even later. I was saying how I had to be up early, and did he not realize that now I would only get 2-3 hours of sleep. Again, but not as prominent, was a lack of reaction.
The obvious things are how he didn't answer his phone and how he kept me from sleep. Going a bit deeper, I would say this is a reflection of how I feel he doesn't consider me. That I'm unimportant and insignificant to him, which I do feel strongly from time to time.
