I can't separate this into 'Dreams' and 'Thoughts' because I don't remember enough of the dream I'm going to talk about. I title this in this way because before this main dream, I dreamt about having a loaf of bread, which in reality, we already finished. Dumb, I know. But that dream with the loaf of bread was the first dream I had about my grandpa.
It's been just over 5 weeks since he passed. Sometimes I feel like I haven't mourned enough. Other times, it takes me by surprise -- like when I was driving to Michaels for more yarn the other day.
This latest dream is one I've been struggling with. We were looking at a new house. It was gorgeous, and huge. A mansion, basically, although it was almost in a condo setting. But again, it was beautiful, and it was an easy walk to the market down the street. We walked out to see what the outside was like, and we had to cross the street to get a good view. Walking ahead of me was my grandpa. My sister was walking next to me. He stopped and turned to us just before we crossed, and he held out his hands to us. My sister took his left hand, and I took his right. His old, wizened and leathery hand felt amazing in mine. I was fumbling for my phone because I wanted to take a picture of my hand in his. But by the time I got my phone out, we already finished crossing, and our hands released. And I was too embarrassed to ask him again just for a picture. So I just turned to look at the house, and it was just as beautiful outside. I was amazed at how large it was compared to the houses around it. Overall, we just concluded that it was a very good house and it was a good choice.
My struggle is wondering what this dream means. Am I just dreaming about him because I miss him so much? Is he trying to tell me that everything is good now? When I say he, do I mean my grandpa or God? Or am I just trying to make myself feel better by interpreting this dream in a certain way?
No comments:
Post a Comment