September 14, 2010

The Dream
Something about having to get girls to stop giving Yubo attention, but I was telling them sternly that I was his fiancée.

Then I had to go to school for some meetings and a test. I had two meetings scheduled at 4:30, so I was trying to figure out which I should really go to. They were the student counsel and peer counseling. I ended up deciding to go to the PC meeting.

I think I took my test first. I ended up on the bottom of a bunk bed. It had a sheer white curtain for privacy. I later found out that it actually had wood panels for more secure privacy, but there wasn't a way to get more light with the panels closed.

I took the test, but near the end of it I realized that I skipped a lot of questions on the first page, so it took me even longer to finish.

I don't recall finishing the test, but then I was out in the hallway with some friends gathering my stuff for the PC meeting. We we're talking a out Johnny, and how he was doing great with his martial arts. I said something about how it was good martial arts but bad acting. Then it was a very TV "he's behind me, isn't he?" moment. I gave him a hug and asked if he was mad at me. He said a little, and I explained that I thought he just needed to take a few more acting classes.

We went off to the meeting as we were all late already. The teacher-adviser was going over things that we needed for the meeting, asking some people why they brought so many unnecessary things.

As we made our way to empty seats, there was a girl that was very excited to see Johnny. We were sort of introducing ourselves to some people around us, and I mentioned that I was Johnny's girlfriend. That girl was very quick to say that we had already broken up. I said, "Why do you have to be so quick to say it? Will you ever let me say it myself? It's nice that there's a girl like you that loves him so much, but seriously..."

Then I sat down at another table and we were reading a Chinese picture book that had English translations. I think it was Po sitting next to me. She told me in Mandarin that she would help me, and I thanked her in Mandarin, though pointing out that I only understood 3/4 of what she said.

I think I woke up shortly after that exchange.

My Thoughts
This was the second or third time I've dreamt about other girls trying to get Yubo's attention, and giving him way too much attention. I didn't post anything because they were little snippets. This particular one was interesting since I told them I was his fiancée and not his wife. I mentioned this part of the dream to my pastor, and told him that I think the fiancée part was because I probably don't feel as secure in our marriage as I should.

The rest of the dream, I don't even know. The peer counseling probably came up because I was talking to Carol about our high school PC days, reminiscing on how unhelpful the group really was. Actually, that whole part of the dream was probably just a huge throw back to high school. I remember thinking it was really funny that my bully wrote me a "love note" about how Johnny should dump me, even though we had already been broken up for a while. It was difficult to see other girls so interested in him, but it wasn't a surprise to me.

That's probably the trend between the two parts of the dream: other girls taking interest in "my guy."

There isn't anything that's happened recently for me to be so concerned with Yubo aside from my own insecurity. He did ask me one night what I would do if he became a pop icon, and I told him my security would plummet. I wouldn't want to see him surrounded and adored by all these other girls because I would feel he'd be able to find someone better than me amongst the horde.

As I was telling him this, my reaction to my own words was a little unusual... I was a little more frightened and emotional about it than I should have been. I was glad that it was right before bed. I just rolled over and tried to sleep.