The Dream
Quick dream about my sister coming with me to visit Mr.A at choreo. He was happy to see us, and commented on how he was recently getting a lot of choir sisters (or siblings?) coming in together to visit.
As we were leaving, I counted off for the kids to start the song because Mr.A was taking too long, and everyone laughed. Mr.A finally counted them in for real.
First dream where I was just visiting instead of being involved.
My Thoughts
Don't think this one really means anything, perhaps aside from finally letting go of show choir.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
December 9, 2010
The Dream
Dreamt I was getting married, but it wasn't to Yubo. I was upstairs getting ready reluctantly. I finally got into my gown. I jumped down the stairs, and ran around the corner into a small bathroom. There were two little girls in there with a kitten. I said something strange about checking to make sure the kitten hadn't peed on anything. Then I went into another room, where Ellie and Tifa rushed in. I grabbed Tifa, and shooed them both out the door.
Then out to another room where I knew there were a bunch of girls that I hated and that hated me. I kept wondering why they had come. I said something bitchy to them, then finally braved going out.
Found my mom at a table sitting across from a guy that I assumed to be my fiancé but wasn't sure. I just talked with my mom with my arms wrapped around her from behind. At some point, she moved to sit next to this guy so I could take the seat across from him. It wasn't until he commented on how I looked that I confirmed he was my fiancé. But he said, "You look really good... and expensive." I told him I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.
He got some soup on his right cuff. I helped him clean it off so that it wouldn't stain. Also cooled off his hand with cold water: napkin and water we had on the table.
It was strange holding his hand. He was reacting like it was the first time we'd actually touched.
Then we had to go to the reception. I wondered how we would sit. I was thinking of sitting across from him again, then having Yubo sit next to me. The image of holding Yubo's hand under the table as I sat across from my fiancé (husband?) flashed into my mind, and I realized that would be too risky and just wrong.
My Thoughts
I can't help but be ridiculously amused by this dream. I tell everyone that cares to know about our whole cheating thing. It's just funny to have had it almost happen in a dream. Don't really have any other thoughts on this.
Dreamt I was getting married, but it wasn't to Yubo. I was upstairs getting ready reluctantly. I finally got into my gown. I jumped down the stairs, and ran around the corner into a small bathroom. There were two little girls in there with a kitten. I said something strange about checking to make sure the kitten hadn't peed on anything. Then I went into another room, where Ellie and Tifa rushed in. I grabbed Tifa, and shooed them both out the door.
Then out to another room where I knew there were a bunch of girls that I hated and that hated me. I kept wondering why they had come. I said something bitchy to them, then finally braved going out.
Found my mom at a table sitting across from a guy that I assumed to be my fiancé but wasn't sure. I just talked with my mom with my arms wrapped around her from behind. At some point, she moved to sit next to this guy so I could take the seat across from him. It wasn't until he commented on how I looked that I confirmed he was my fiancé. But he said, "You look really good... and expensive." I told him I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.
He got some soup on his right cuff. I helped him clean it off so that it wouldn't stain. Also cooled off his hand with cold water: napkin and water we had on the table.
It was strange holding his hand. He was reacting like it was the first time we'd actually touched.
Then we had to go to the reception. I wondered how we would sit. I was thinking of sitting across from him again, then having Yubo sit next to me. The image of holding Yubo's hand under the table as I sat across from my fiancé (husband?) flashed into my mind, and I realized that would be too risky and just wrong.
My Thoughts
I can't help but be ridiculously amused by this dream. I tell everyone that cares to know about our whole cheating thing. It's just funny to have had it almost happen in a dream. Don't really have any other thoughts on this.
Friday, January 7, 2011
January 7, 2011
The Dreams
- Yubo and Ei-chan as kids pretending they were Aladdin and Jasmine singing "A Whole New World." Woke up briefly. Went back to sleepa dreamt I wanted to tell Yubo that dream. He was in the living room, and I told him to let me try to remember the dream but I had to pee. Remembered the dream, but woke up before I could tell him.
- I was getting ice cream with Albert and Mushi. They kept chatting up these three high school girls that were behind us, and went to sit next to them when they got their orders. Noticed that the only flavor they had was Very Berry. I got a kid scoop that ended up being $2. They also gave me a store card that was going to expire in something like 2000 years, but the year he entered started with an 8. But he didn't tell me anything about the expiration. He was saying that after I buy so many scoops of ice cream, I get $2000.
- I was getting ready to go to dinner with my mom, Yubo and his parents. For some reason, I was out in the street, leaning into the back of the car (a Jeep or SUV or something) and brushing my teeth. I brushed out this big piece of food that I figured was the cause of my tooth discomfort. Told my mom, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, I just needed to do a few more things and we'd be ready to go. She was getting impatient. I ran with the toothbrush upstairs to the apartment. Passed by some open doors of people dressed up saying "Trick or treat" and "Happy Halloween" as I ran by. Didn't know where Yubo was. Went to the bathroom to finish getting ready. I was dressed, but put on sleepies over what I was wearing. Finished something, then decided I should at least straighten my bangs. In the corner was a basket with a cat bed in it. Chiyo and Ellie were sleeping together. Yubo came in to see, then I told him to go downstairs to keep my mom company. In the kitchen, I grabbed from the fridge what was supposed to be kimchee. But it was unwrapped. His mom said she left it open so it could be mixed. It looked like some weird liquid and rice. Then his dad said he gave some of the juice to the... fish? lizards? Then something about it being liver instead of juice. I commented that liver was probably too rich for the lizards to digest because they've only had little insect livers.
- At a restaurant with friends. We were seated in a section all to ourselves, and everyone was being kinda loud and obnoxious. I was sitting next to Neko, and was holding his hand under the table. When they asked for our order, he asked for dried shredded pork bun. I was so excited that they had it, and ordered the same. Then I wanted to stroke his finger to turn him on, but he wouldn't let me.
- Hahahahaha. That's hilarious. I'm not too sure what could have sparked such a dream, aside from how close Yubo is with his brother. And I suppose it was just imagine antics of their childhood. And I think I've had a few dream in a dream situations, and it's usually some crazy dream I want to share with Yubo.
- No idea what to think of this. The only thing is that the ice cream place is one of two that have appeared in my dreams. This one was located in a shopping center next to some Chinese restaurants. The other ice cream place is in the mall.
- The only thing that makes any sense to me is the tooth discomfort, because my tooth really has been bugging me.
- So interesting to have a dream about Neko in a semi-romantic way again. Nothing is horribly wrong between me and Yubo, unlike the times a while ago when I was dreaming a lot about Neko, Pochin, and Eric. And the finger thing.... LoL! I seriously have no idea.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
December 3, 2010
The Dream
Dreamt that Yubo and I were trying to get somewhere. Were at something like a castle, but it was supposed to be a church. It was nearly overrun by weird creatures. For some reason, we kept going into rooms
that were dark. We held hands tight as we tried to navigate through the dark. We'd find a light switch and see a creature in the room after turning the light on. So we'd run into another dark room. At some point, we couldn't find how to get out if the castle/church. I was getting increasingly scared and frantic. Yubo was getting frantic too. We finally got outside. I told him that we need to stop going into places when they're dark. Otherwise we keep turning on lights and leaving them on, defeating the purpose of people turning the lights off in the first place.
Then we got to my parents' house. We were going to have a second wedding. I wanted to do my hair differently, so I was working on that. My mom was trying to rush me, but I was determined to do this hairstyle. Don't know what Yubo was doing -- playing a game, I think. I told him people were waiting for us. It was about 10am already. I wasn't too concerned about making them wait though.
When I went to check on my parents, they had gone back to sleep. So I relaxed even more and told Yubo we could take our time.
My Thoughts
One of those dreams where you think, "Man. Freud would have a field day."
So there's the thing about Yubo and I entering the darkness hand in hand. Doesn't put us in a great position, but then we turn the light on in each dark space. So it's not like we're dwelling in darkness. However, we both run from the "monsters" that are revealed. I'd say this is something about how we're not really dealing with issues that we should be. It's not that we're ignoring them, because we're "shedding light on them," but we don't do anything further.
The second wedding is interesting because I was so relaxed about it. I wasn't too stressed. I just wanted to do this cute hairstyle. I wasn't bothered that Yubo was playing a game. It was something close to that "Let's just get this over with" feeling that I had with our actual wedding, minus the stress and drama.
What's funny about that, though, is Yubo is usually a big jerk in my dreams. More often than not, he's doing something to irritate me, piss me off, or hurt me. So it was really nice to have a dream where we were on the same side for once.
Dreamt that Yubo and I were trying to get somewhere. Were at something like a castle, but it was supposed to be a church. It was nearly overrun by weird creatures. For some reason, we kept going into rooms
that were dark. We held hands tight as we tried to navigate through the dark. We'd find a light switch and see a creature in the room after turning the light on. So we'd run into another dark room. At some point, we couldn't find how to get out if the castle/church. I was getting increasingly scared and frantic. Yubo was getting frantic too. We finally got outside. I told him that we need to stop going into places when they're dark. Otherwise we keep turning on lights and leaving them on, defeating the purpose of people turning the lights off in the first place.
Then we got to my parents' house. We were going to have a second wedding. I wanted to do my hair differently, so I was working on that. My mom was trying to rush me, but I was determined to do this hairstyle. Don't know what Yubo was doing -- playing a game, I think. I told him people were waiting for us. It was about 10am already. I wasn't too concerned about making them wait though.
When I went to check on my parents, they had gone back to sleep. So I relaxed even more and told Yubo we could take our time.
My Thoughts
One of those dreams where you think, "Man. Freud would have a field day."
So there's the thing about Yubo and I entering the darkness hand in hand. Doesn't put us in a great position, but then we turn the light on in each dark space. So it's not like we're dwelling in darkness. However, we both run from the "monsters" that are revealed. I'd say this is something about how we're not really dealing with issues that we should be. It's not that we're ignoring them, because we're "shedding light on them," but we don't do anything further.
The second wedding is interesting because I was so relaxed about it. I wasn't too stressed. I just wanted to do this cute hairstyle. I wasn't bothered that Yubo was playing a game. It was something close to that "Let's just get this over with" feeling that I had with our actual wedding, minus the stress and drama.
What's funny about that, though, is Yubo is usually a big jerk in my dreams. More often than not, he's doing something to irritate me, piss me off, or hurt me. So it was really nice to have a dream where we were on the same side for once.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Mon, Jul. 31st, 2006, 04:09 am
Yeah.. I'm up pretty damn early...
We actually went to sleep at around 2:30ish. I just woke up from a really disturbing dream a while ago. A while ago before this post because I was stuck in bed, sobbing... just racking sobs...Neko will notice that I called his phone twice. When he didn't pick up, I called my sister, who picked up her phone and talked to me. I needed to hear another voice.
The reason I had to call someone was because Yubo wouldn't wake up.. and in his sleep, he actually pulled his arm away twice. So I gripped his arm.. so hard and so long that my hand started throbbing.. and I cried and cried... and all this time, he didn't wake up.
The moment I felt I could release him without breaking down even further, I rolled over as quick as I could and fumbled for my phone. Noticed the battery was about to die.. fished for my charger. While the phone charged, called Neko. When he didn't pick up, called the sissyter.
I'm sooo thankful that she picked up. Just hearing her voice, only half listening to what she was saying.. it calmed me, though what she was saying was a good distraction from what I was feeling. Changing topics from the dream. It was good.
So right now, I'm up with all the lights on, trying to calm myself further. Drinking my favorite Vitamin Water flavor: Revive.
I've never woken up so terrified of a dream, though I don't think it was the dream itself. I think it was Yubo not waking up and pulling away that actually set me off. I felt alone and scared out of my mind, and he was right there next to me.. but he wasn't there for me.
I was actually scared I was going to hyperventilate. I just couldn't calm down.
The fits are actually trying to start up again.. I feel little spurts of them, but I can breathe them off.
The dream was kinda about work at Fry's. But the role of Ramin was, for some reason, played by Memo (a guy I met in college). I was asking him to give me something to do, and he was about to turn the water hose on me. I charged at him, telling him to do it if he dared. So he dared, and he blasted me with water, but I stood my ground and I fought him. At one point, he was at my back with water blasting down on my head, and I was biting into.. that spot where your thumb turns into your first finger. The meat gave way, but the skin didn't break. Only then did I run away, and I had to prompt Yubo (who was there for whatever reason) to call the cops. I was able to give him the address we were at calmly, which I think was just our apartment address. I woke up soon after that.
The dream before that, we were at some party. A girl invited us to an orgy? But there was only one guy, and the hostess was having him all to herself. The rest of the women just played with themselves. There was one girl, white, blonde, kinda tall, that wasn't doing anything. So I asked her, in a friendly way, "What's up?" So she took me out of the room to talk with me privately.. confide in me something. We went to the back porch, and she told me something about her eyebrows...? We went back into the house, so I could find some light to see her in, but I couldn't find her. There were three entrances to the house, and for some reason, we took different entrances. I heard that she ran off, thinking that I deserted her and thought of her the way everyone else did. So I tried to track her down to tell her the truth. Got on bikes to follow her.. me and Yubo. I spotted her running out into a field. So we finally caught up to her, though Yubo didn't use the bike. And I told her the truth, and she felt better.
Then there was something about growing eggs? and lots of traveling by this blue bus. We were waiting for bus #690 (of course, I'm a pervert even in my dreams.. especially after a pseudo-orgy). There were some officials, a guy and a girl, at the bus stop too, and Yubo sat with them with a map to figure out which way to really go, cuz the directions we got were from some random local. So he sat and smoked with them, and went over the map. The guy actually took the cigarette from Yubo, even though it was almost done, and smoked from that, even though his partner's cig was only half done. ::shrugs::
Then the weirdo dream. Then the waking up, crying.
All of that in less than two hours of sleep.
I think I'm just gonna finish of this bottle of Vitamin Water before I go back to bed. I think by then I should be good to sleep again. I'll read Neko's journal as a bedtime story, since I didn't get to talk to him. Haha.
---
My Thoughts
As I was going through my dj to pull these dream entries, I was wondering where this dream was. So I'm probably missing some other dreams that I didn't label as dream entries in the title. Oh well.
I still remember this horrifying dream. It left such a... scar, I want to say. Again, it was mostly because I felt Yubo wasn't there for me when I really needed him. I was disgusted by what happened in the dream... it wasn't like I actually bit off any flesh into my mouth, but I really felt my teeth sink in.
It was a long time before I told Yubo what happened. I didn't want to make him feel bad since he wasn't at fault. I recall not really being able to put much effort into waking him. I was nearly paralyzed with fear, and all I could do was cry. I couldn't even say anything to try to wake him. I guess it hurt that even crying as loudly as I thought I was couldn't wake him.
And... yeah. Not much to say about that pseudo-orgy dream.
Tue, Jul. 24th, 2007, 01:33 pm
The Dream
Highlights of this dream that made it so upsetting:
I was messing around with a guy that seemed to be a combination of all my previous serious boyfriends. At the end of it, I remember feeling so much guilt. I even turned to the guy and cried and told him that I swore never to cheat on Yubo.
Some stuff happened here but I don't remember.
Yubo and I were in a store with our kids (o.o) and one set of our parents. In some random aisle we get into an argument. Starts off about him mad at me for some rude thing I said in the car on the way over to the store. I supposedly asked him with a lot of attitude, "Can you just stop the car now?" I asked him what I was supposed to say, and he said, "I don't know. Something like nicely asking where we're going??" In my head, I thought I can't tell him that I don't trust him with directions... or something like that. The argument escalates, and I yelled something back at him. Then he said, "Why are you yelling at me?!?" And I said, "I'm not yelling at you!" I tried to calm down and asked, "Can't I yell when I'm frustrated and upset?" or something like that. It went on, and I remember thinking that we shouldn't fight in front of the kids. But it got worse, and I slumped to the floor crying. Then something something.. and I told them all "Bye" and ran off. He said, bored, "See you later," assuming I'd actually be back.
So I ran out of the store and past the window where I thought they would see that I was actually running away.
Some really unimportant random stuff happened here while I was running.
Then super random stuff that usually happens in my dreams, this time involving some creature that was a combination of ET, Gollum, and a gremlin. o.0 Also something with Harry Potter with some sort of mullet and blue streaks in his hair.
Backstage of some Ynez auditorium, I was talking with some other people. The size of the backstage area was a lot bigger than it really is. Anyway, some girl was talking about love, and said something like, "Love doesn't lie." I laughed at her, and told her, "Love lies. If you believe it doesn't, then you've never really been in love before." She left in a huff, not wanting to believe me. She passed by this other girl on the way out who was sitting down, and she gave me this look that she understood just as well as I did about love. I watched the other girl as she left with a very sad feeling for her. I guess the second girl was telling the first girl about a situation, and the first girl was trying to tell her that wasn't love.. or something.
Anyway... so those three things left me with this awful feeling when I woke up: I cheated on him, I left him and our family, and I had that opinion of love.
---
My Thoughts
I think I really would be very devastated if I cheated on Yubo. I always joke that if I wanted to cheat on Yubo, I'd have to cheat on him with him. But that is true, to an extent. I feel I'm finally with the one I really wanted to be with all this time, so there's no need to cheat. Strange reasoning, but it makes sense to me.
The fight was interesting. There are a lot of times when I feel frustrated, but I'm usually the only one to raise my voice and break down. Because he shuts down when faced with conflict, sometimes I get the impression that he doesn't really care. And the running away, and his feeling like there's nothing to worry about because he "knows" I'll be back is very realistic. I don't know about those kids though... o.o;;
And when considering that, "Love lies," I would still agree with it. "Deception of the heart," I suppose. Or just blind love, and not in a good way.
Highlights of this dream that made it so upsetting:
I was messing around with a guy that seemed to be a combination of all my previous serious boyfriends. At the end of it, I remember feeling so much guilt. I even turned to the guy and cried and told him that I swore never to cheat on Yubo.
Some stuff happened here but I don't remember.
Yubo and I were in a store with our kids (o.o) and one set of our parents. In some random aisle we get into an argument. Starts off about him mad at me for some rude thing I said in the car on the way over to the store. I supposedly asked him with a lot of attitude, "Can you just stop the car now?" I asked him what I was supposed to say, and he said, "I don't know. Something like nicely asking where we're going??" In my head, I thought I can't tell him that I don't trust him with directions... or something like that. The argument escalates, and I yelled something back at him. Then he said, "Why are you yelling at me?!?" And I said, "I'm not yelling at you!" I tried to calm down and asked, "Can't I yell when I'm frustrated and upset?" or something like that. It went on, and I remember thinking that we shouldn't fight in front of the kids. But it got worse, and I slumped to the floor crying. Then something something.. and I told them all "Bye" and ran off. He said, bored, "See you later," assuming I'd actually be back.
So I ran out of the store and past the window where I thought they would see that I was actually running away.
Some really unimportant random stuff happened here while I was running.
Then super random stuff that usually happens in my dreams, this time involving some creature that was a combination of ET, Gollum, and a gremlin. o.0 Also something with Harry Potter with some sort of mullet and blue streaks in his hair.
Backstage of some Ynez auditorium, I was talking with some other people. The size of the backstage area was a lot bigger than it really is. Anyway, some girl was talking about love, and said something like, "Love doesn't lie." I laughed at her, and told her, "Love lies. If you believe it doesn't, then you've never really been in love before." She left in a huff, not wanting to believe me. She passed by this other girl on the way out who was sitting down, and she gave me this look that she understood just as well as I did about love. I watched the other girl as she left with a very sad feeling for her. I guess the second girl was telling the first girl about a situation, and the first girl was trying to tell her that wasn't love.. or something.
Anyway... so those three things left me with this awful feeling when I woke up: I cheated on him, I left him and our family, and I had that opinion of love.
---
My Thoughts
I think I really would be very devastated if I cheated on Yubo. I always joke that if I wanted to cheat on Yubo, I'd have to cheat on him with him. But that is true, to an extent. I feel I'm finally with the one I really wanted to be with all this time, so there's no need to cheat. Strange reasoning, but it makes sense to me.
The fight was interesting. There are a lot of times when I feel frustrated, but I'm usually the only one to raise my voice and break down. Because he shuts down when faced with conflict, sometimes I get the impression that he doesn't really care. And the running away, and his feeling like there's nothing to worry about because he "knows" I'll be back is very realistic. I don't know about those kids though... o.o;;
And when considering that, "Love lies," I would still agree with it. "Deception of the heart," I suppose. Or just blind love, and not in a good way.
Fri, Jun. 15th, 2007, 02:54 pm
The Dream
I had a rather unsettling dream this morning. Unsettling because there was so much emotion that when I woke up my chest felt really tight with it.
It started off normal enough... as normal as my random dreams go. Was at Ynez and going to class in one of the bungalows. I walked into the class and realized that I couldn't remember where I was supposed to sit. There were notes on the desks, but none of them had a name, so I couldn't figure out where to sit from that. Someone told me to ask my boyfriend, and maybe he would remember. So I went over to Johnny, and asked him where I was supposed to sit. Told him I couldn't remember if it was assigned seating, or if we could just sit anywhere. The teacher came in, and I panicked. But then an alarm sounded, and so we all rushed out of the classroom. A couple of us were suddenly in roller skates.. or like.. those roller shoes. We were helping get everyone to where they needed to go. We were supposed to go to section 3, or something. As we were all headed that way, I noticed where the smoke was coming from. We overheard a girl from another class saying something about another boy. I pushed Johnny away from me, and told him to go. With a nod, he skated back towards the smoke to probably save whatever boy that girl was talking about.
Finally got to section 3... and everyone just waited, or checked to make sure everyone else was okai. After a good while, a group of kids joined us. I guess they were the ones that were left behind or something. But they got to us, safe and sound. A lot of the other kids rushed to them and checked to see if they were okai. None of them were hurt. Until that moment, I didn't really feel anything. And then I saw Johnny skate up to some sort of wooden rail, and he was searching for me. I was staring at him the whole time with this overwhelming sense of relief that he was okai. He finally spotted me, and with a big smile, jumped over the rail and came to me. We embraced, and I cried.. and then he whispered something like, "Will you come with me?" in my ear, and I just nodded.
The dream ended there. When I woke up, I felt like wiping tears from my face, but there weren't any. My chest was tight and it was a little hard to breath.
Really weird... I wonder if it means anything.
---
My Thoughts
To be honest, the relationship I had with Johnny wasn't the greatest. We were young -- 7th, 8th, and a little bit of 9th grade -- and didn't know what we were doing. Everyone thought we were going to be great because we were childhood friends. But he was the first significant romantic relationship in my life, so that's probably why he often returns as my boyfriend in my dreams.
I had a rather unsettling dream this morning. Unsettling because there was so much emotion that when I woke up my chest felt really tight with it.
It started off normal enough... as normal as my random dreams go. Was at Ynez and going to class in one of the bungalows. I walked into the class and realized that I couldn't remember where I was supposed to sit. There were notes on the desks, but none of them had a name, so I couldn't figure out where to sit from that. Someone told me to ask my boyfriend, and maybe he would remember. So I went over to Johnny, and asked him where I was supposed to sit. Told him I couldn't remember if it was assigned seating, or if we could just sit anywhere. The teacher came in, and I panicked. But then an alarm sounded, and so we all rushed out of the classroom. A couple of us were suddenly in roller skates.. or like.. those roller shoes. We were helping get everyone to where they needed to go. We were supposed to go to section 3, or something. As we were all headed that way, I noticed where the smoke was coming from. We overheard a girl from another class saying something about another boy. I pushed Johnny away from me, and told him to go. With a nod, he skated back towards the smoke to probably save whatever boy that girl was talking about.
Finally got to section 3... and everyone just waited, or checked to make sure everyone else was okai. After a good while, a group of kids joined us. I guess they were the ones that were left behind or something. But they got to us, safe and sound. A lot of the other kids rushed to them and checked to see if they were okai. None of them were hurt. Until that moment, I didn't really feel anything. And then I saw Johnny skate up to some sort of wooden rail, and he was searching for me. I was staring at him the whole time with this overwhelming sense of relief that he was okai. He finally spotted me, and with a big smile, jumped over the rail and came to me. We embraced, and I cried.. and then he whispered something like, "Will you come with me?" in my ear, and I just nodded.
The dream ended there. When I woke up, I felt like wiping tears from my face, but there weren't any. My chest was tight and it was a little hard to breath.
Really weird... I wonder if it means anything.
---
My Thoughts
To be honest, the relationship I had with Johnny wasn't the greatest. We were young -- 7th, 8th, and a little bit of 9th grade -- and didn't know what we were doing. Everyone thought we were going to be great because we were childhood friends. But he was the first significant romantic relationship in my life, so that's probably why he often returns as my boyfriend in my dreams.
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