The Dream
Dreamt that Yubo and I were trying to get somewhere. Were at something like a castle, but it was supposed to be a church. It was nearly overrun by weird creatures. For some reason, we kept going into rooms
that were dark. We held hands tight as we tried to navigate through the dark. We'd find a light switch and see a creature in the room after turning the light on. So we'd run into another dark room. At some point, we couldn't find how to get out if the castle/church. I was getting increasingly scared and frantic. Yubo was getting frantic too. We finally got outside. I told him that we need to stop going into places when they're dark. Otherwise we keep turning on lights and leaving them on, defeating the purpose of people turning the lights off in the first place.
Then we got to my parents' house. We were going to have a second wedding. I wanted to do my hair differently, so I was working on that. My mom was trying to rush me, but I was determined to do this hairstyle. Don't know what Yubo was doing -- playing a game, I think. I told him people were waiting for us. It was about 10am already. I wasn't too concerned about making them wait though.
When I went to check on my parents, they had gone back to sleep. So I relaxed even more and told Yubo we could take our time.
My Thoughts
One of those dreams where you think, "Man. Freud would have a field day."
So there's the thing about Yubo and I entering the darkness hand in hand. Doesn't put us in a great position, but then we turn the light on in each dark space. So it's not like we're dwelling in darkness. However, we both run from the "monsters" that are revealed. I'd say this is something about how we're not really dealing with issues that we should be. It's not that we're ignoring them, because we're "shedding light on them," but we don't do anything further.
The second wedding is interesting because I was so relaxed about it. I wasn't too stressed. I just wanted to do this cute hairstyle. I wasn't bothered that Yubo was playing a game. It was something close to that "Let's just get this over with" feeling that I had with our actual wedding, minus the stress and drama.
What's funny about that, though, is Yubo is usually a big jerk in my dreams. More often than not, he's doing something to irritate me, piss me off, or hurt me. So it was really nice to have a dream where we were on the same side for once.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Mon, Jul. 31st, 2006, 04:09 am
Yeah.. I'm up pretty damn early...
We actually went to sleep at around 2:30ish. I just woke up from a really disturbing dream a while ago. A while ago before this post because I was stuck in bed, sobbing... just racking sobs...Neko will notice that I called his phone twice. When he didn't pick up, I called my sister, who picked up her phone and talked to me. I needed to hear another voice.
The reason I had to call someone was because Yubo wouldn't wake up.. and in his sleep, he actually pulled his arm away twice. So I gripped his arm.. so hard and so long that my hand started throbbing.. and I cried and cried... and all this time, he didn't wake up.
The moment I felt I could release him without breaking down even further, I rolled over as quick as I could and fumbled for my phone. Noticed the battery was about to die.. fished for my charger. While the phone charged, called Neko. When he didn't pick up, called the sissyter.
I'm sooo thankful that she picked up. Just hearing her voice, only half listening to what she was saying.. it calmed me, though what she was saying was a good distraction from what I was feeling. Changing topics from the dream. It was good.
So right now, I'm up with all the lights on, trying to calm myself further. Drinking my favorite Vitamin Water flavor: Revive.
I've never woken up so terrified of a dream, though I don't think it was the dream itself. I think it was Yubo not waking up and pulling away that actually set me off. I felt alone and scared out of my mind, and he was right there next to me.. but he wasn't there for me.
I was actually scared I was going to hyperventilate. I just couldn't calm down.
The fits are actually trying to start up again.. I feel little spurts of them, but I can breathe them off.
The dream was kinda about work at Fry's. But the role of Ramin was, for some reason, played by Memo (a guy I met in college). I was asking him to give me something to do, and he was about to turn the water hose on me. I charged at him, telling him to do it if he dared. So he dared, and he blasted me with water, but I stood my ground and I fought him. At one point, he was at my back with water blasting down on my head, and I was biting into.. that spot where your thumb turns into your first finger. The meat gave way, but the skin didn't break. Only then did I run away, and I had to prompt Yubo (who was there for whatever reason) to call the cops. I was able to give him the address we were at calmly, which I think was just our apartment address. I woke up soon after that.
The dream before that, we were at some party. A girl invited us to an orgy? But there was only one guy, and the hostess was having him all to herself. The rest of the women just played with themselves. There was one girl, white, blonde, kinda tall, that wasn't doing anything. So I asked her, in a friendly way, "What's up?" So she took me out of the room to talk with me privately.. confide in me something. We went to the back porch, and she told me something about her eyebrows...? We went back into the house, so I could find some light to see her in, but I couldn't find her. There were three entrances to the house, and for some reason, we took different entrances. I heard that she ran off, thinking that I deserted her and thought of her the way everyone else did. So I tried to track her down to tell her the truth. Got on bikes to follow her.. me and Yubo. I spotted her running out into a field. So we finally caught up to her, though Yubo didn't use the bike. And I told her the truth, and she felt better.
Then there was something about growing eggs? and lots of traveling by this blue bus. We were waiting for bus #690 (of course, I'm a pervert even in my dreams.. especially after a pseudo-orgy). There were some officials, a guy and a girl, at the bus stop too, and Yubo sat with them with a map to figure out which way to really go, cuz the directions we got were from some random local. So he sat and smoked with them, and went over the map. The guy actually took the cigarette from Yubo, even though it was almost done, and smoked from that, even though his partner's cig was only half done. ::shrugs::
Then the weirdo dream. Then the waking up, crying.
All of that in less than two hours of sleep.
I think I'm just gonna finish of this bottle of Vitamin Water before I go back to bed. I think by then I should be good to sleep again. I'll read Neko's journal as a bedtime story, since I didn't get to talk to him. Haha.
---
My Thoughts
As I was going through my dj to pull these dream entries, I was wondering where this dream was. So I'm probably missing some other dreams that I didn't label as dream entries in the title. Oh well.
I still remember this horrifying dream. It left such a... scar, I want to say. Again, it was mostly because I felt Yubo wasn't there for me when I really needed him. I was disgusted by what happened in the dream... it wasn't like I actually bit off any flesh into my mouth, but I really felt my teeth sink in.
It was a long time before I told Yubo what happened. I didn't want to make him feel bad since he wasn't at fault. I recall not really being able to put much effort into waking him. I was nearly paralyzed with fear, and all I could do was cry. I couldn't even say anything to try to wake him. I guess it hurt that even crying as loudly as I thought I was couldn't wake him.
And... yeah. Not much to say about that pseudo-orgy dream.
Tue, Jul. 24th, 2007, 01:33 pm
The Dream
Highlights of this dream that made it so upsetting:
I was messing around with a guy that seemed to be a combination of all my previous serious boyfriends. At the end of it, I remember feeling so much guilt. I even turned to the guy and cried and told him that I swore never to cheat on Yubo.
Some stuff happened here but I don't remember.
Yubo and I were in a store with our kids (o.o) and one set of our parents. In some random aisle we get into an argument. Starts off about him mad at me for some rude thing I said in the car on the way over to the store. I supposedly asked him with a lot of attitude, "Can you just stop the car now?" I asked him what I was supposed to say, and he said, "I don't know. Something like nicely asking where we're going??" In my head, I thought I can't tell him that I don't trust him with directions... or something like that. The argument escalates, and I yelled something back at him. Then he said, "Why are you yelling at me?!?" And I said, "I'm not yelling at you!" I tried to calm down and asked, "Can't I yell when I'm frustrated and upset?" or something like that. It went on, and I remember thinking that we shouldn't fight in front of the kids. But it got worse, and I slumped to the floor crying. Then something something.. and I told them all "Bye" and ran off. He said, bored, "See you later," assuming I'd actually be back.
So I ran out of the store and past the window where I thought they would see that I was actually running away.
Some really unimportant random stuff happened here while I was running.
Then super random stuff that usually happens in my dreams, this time involving some creature that was a combination of ET, Gollum, and a gremlin. o.0 Also something with Harry Potter with some sort of mullet and blue streaks in his hair.
Backstage of some Ynez auditorium, I was talking with some other people. The size of the backstage area was a lot bigger than it really is. Anyway, some girl was talking about love, and said something like, "Love doesn't lie." I laughed at her, and told her, "Love lies. If you believe it doesn't, then you've never really been in love before." She left in a huff, not wanting to believe me. She passed by this other girl on the way out who was sitting down, and she gave me this look that she understood just as well as I did about love. I watched the other girl as she left with a very sad feeling for her. I guess the second girl was telling the first girl about a situation, and the first girl was trying to tell her that wasn't love.. or something.
Anyway... so those three things left me with this awful feeling when I woke up: I cheated on him, I left him and our family, and I had that opinion of love.
---
My Thoughts
I think I really would be very devastated if I cheated on Yubo. I always joke that if I wanted to cheat on Yubo, I'd have to cheat on him with him. But that is true, to an extent. I feel I'm finally with the one I really wanted to be with all this time, so there's no need to cheat. Strange reasoning, but it makes sense to me.
The fight was interesting. There are a lot of times when I feel frustrated, but I'm usually the only one to raise my voice and break down. Because he shuts down when faced with conflict, sometimes I get the impression that he doesn't really care. And the running away, and his feeling like there's nothing to worry about because he "knows" I'll be back is very realistic. I don't know about those kids though... o.o;;
And when considering that, "Love lies," I would still agree with it. "Deception of the heart," I suppose. Or just blind love, and not in a good way.
Highlights of this dream that made it so upsetting:
I was messing around with a guy that seemed to be a combination of all my previous serious boyfriends. At the end of it, I remember feeling so much guilt. I even turned to the guy and cried and told him that I swore never to cheat on Yubo.
Some stuff happened here but I don't remember.
Yubo and I were in a store with our kids (o.o) and one set of our parents. In some random aisle we get into an argument. Starts off about him mad at me for some rude thing I said in the car on the way over to the store. I supposedly asked him with a lot of attitude, "Can you just stop the car now?" I asked him what I was supposed to say, and he said, "I don't know. Something like nicely asking where we're going??" In my head, I thought I can't tell him that I don't trust him with directions... or something like that. The argument escalates, and I yelled something back at him. Then he said, "Why are you yelling at me?!?" And I said, "I'm not yelling at you!" I tried to calm down and asked, "Can't I yell when I'm frustrated and upset?" or something like that. It went on, and I remember thinking that we shouldn't fight in front of the kids. But it got worse, and I slumped to the floor crying. Then something something.. and I told them all "Bye" and ran off. He said, bored, "See you later," assuming I'd actually be back.
So I ran out of the store and past the window where I thought they would see that I was actually running away.
Some really unimportant random stuff happened here while I was running.
Then super random stuff that usually happens in my dreams, this time involving some creature that was a combination of ET, Gollum, and a gremlin. o.0 Also something with Harry Potter with some sort of mullet and blue streaks in his hair.
Backstage of some Ynez auditorium, I was talking with some other people. The size of the backstage area was a lot bigger than it really is. Anyway, some girl was talking about love, and said something like, "Love doesn't lie." I laughed at her, and told her, "Love lies. If you believe it doesn't, then you've never really been in love before." She left in a huff, not wanting to believe me. She passed by this other girl on the way out who was sitting down, and she gave me this look that she understood just as well as I did about love. I watched the other girl as she left with a very sad feeling for her. I guess the second girl was telling the first girl about a situation, and the first girl was trying to tell her that wasn't love.. or something.
Anyway... so those three things left me with this awful feeling when I woke up: I cheated on him, I left him and our family, and I had that opinion of love.
---
My Thoughts
I think I really would be very devastated if I cheated on Yubo. I always joke that if I wanted to cheat on Yubo, I'd have to cheat on him with him. But that is true, to an extent. I feel I'm finally with the one I really wanted to be with all this time, so there's no need to cheat. Strange reasoning, but it makes sense to me.
The fight was interesting. There are a lot of times when I feel frustrated, but I'm usually the only one to raise my voice and break down. Because he shuts down when faced with conflict, sometimes I get the impression that he doesn't really care. And the running away, and his feeling like there's nothing to worry about because he "knows" I'll be back is very realistic. I don't know about those kids though... o.o;;
And when considering that, "Love lies," I would still agree with it. "Deception of the heart," I suppose. Or just blind love, and not in a good way.
Fri, Jun. 15th, 2007, 02:54 pm
The Dream
I had a rather unsettling dream this morning. Unsettling because there was so much emotion that when I woke up my chest felt really tight with it.
It started off normal enough... as normal as my random dreams go. Was at Ynez and going to class in one of the bungalows. I walked into the class and realized that I couldn't remember where I was supposed to sit. There were notes on the desks, but none of them had a name, so I couldn't figure out where to sit from that. Someone told me to ask my boyfriend, and maybe he would remember. So I went over to Johnny, and asked him where I was supposed to sit. Told him I couldn't remember if it was assigned seating, or if we could just sit anywhere. The teacher came in, and I panicked. But then an alarm sounded, and so we all rushed out of the classroom. A couple of us were suddenly in roller skates.. or like.. those roller shoes. We were helping get everyone to where they needed to go. We were supposed to go to section 3, or something. As we were all headed that way, I noticed where the smoke was coming from. We overheard a girl from another class saying something about another boy. I pushed Johnny away from me, and told him to go. With a nod, he skated back towards the smoke to probably save whatever boy that girl was talking about.
Finally got to section 3... and everyone just waited, or checked to make sure everyone else was okai. After a good while, a group of kids joined us. I guess they were the ones that were left behind or something. But they got to us, safe and sound. A lot of the other kids rushed to them and checked to see if they were okai. None of them were hurt. Until that moment, I didn't really feel anything. And then I saw Johnny skate up to some sort of wooden rail, and he was searching for me. I was staring at him the whole time with this overwhelming sense of relief that he was okai. He finally spotted me, and with a big smile, jumped over the rail and came to me. We embraced, and I cried.. and then he whispered something like, "Will you come with me?" in my ear, and I just nodded.
The dream ended there. When I woke up, I felt like wiping tears from my face, but there weren't any. My chest was tight and it was a little hard to breath.
Really weird... I wonder if it means anything.
---
My Thoughts
To be honest, the relationship I had with Johnny wasn't the greatest. We were young -- 7th, 8th, and a little bit of 9th grade -- and didn't know what we were doing. Everyone thought we were going to be great because we were childhood friends. But he was the first significant romantic relationship in my life, so that's probably why he often returns as my boyfriend in my dreams.
I had a rather unsettling dream this morning. Unsettling because there was so much emotion that when I woke up my chest felt really tight with it.
It started off normal enough... as normal as my random dreams go. Was at Ynez and going to class in one of the bungalows. I walked into the class and realized that I couldn't remember where I was supposed to sit. There were notes on the desks, but none of them had a name, so I couldn't figure out where to sit from that. Someone told me to ask my boyfriend, and maybe he would remember. So I went over to Johnny, and asked him where I was supposed to sit. Told him I couldn't remember if it was assigned seating, or if we could just sit anywhere. The teacher came in, and I panicked. But then an alarm sounded, and so we all rushed out of the classroom. A couple of us were suddenly in roller skates.. or like.. those roller shoes. We were helping get everyone to where they needed to go. We were supposed to go to section 3, or something. As we were all headed that way, I noticed where the smoke was coming from. We overheard a girl from another class saying something about another boy. I pushed Johnny away from me, and told him to go. With a nod, he skated back towards the smoke to probably save whatever boy that girl was talking about.
Finally got to section 3... and everyone just waited, or checked to make sure everyone else was okai. After a good while, a group of kids joined us. I guess they were the ones that were left behind or something. But they got to us, safe and sound. A lot of the other kids rushed to them and checked to see if they were okai. None of them were hurt. Until that moment, I didn't really feel anything. And then I saw Johnny skate up to some sort of wooden rail, and he was searching for me. I was staring at him the whole time with this overwhelming sense of relief that he was okai. He finally spotted me, and with a big smile, jumped over the rail and came to me. We embraced, and I cried.. and then he whispered something like, "Will you come with me?" in my ear, and I just nodded.
The dream ended there. When I woke up, I felt like wiping tears from my face, but there weren't any. My chest was tight and it was a little hard to breath.
Really weird... I wonder if it means anything.
---
My Thoughts
To be honest, the relationship I had with Johnny wasn't the greatest. We were young -- 7th, 8th, and a little bit of 9th grade -- and didn't know what we were doing. Everyone thought we were going to be great because we were childhood friends. But he was the first significant romantic relationship in my life, so that's probably why he often returns as my boyfriend in my dreams.
Mon, Feb. 12th, 2007, 01:56 pm
Dumbest dream ever...
...but it made me feel wretched and I couldn't stop crying. I don't remember all of it, because when I woke up I tried really hard not to think about it so I could stop crying. So here's my best recap:There was this race, or something. One of the parties cheated, and so I took it upon myself to punish them. Something about cheese. I took their stack of sliced cheddar cheese. I went up a bunch of stairs, clearing the path of things that would stop the fall, but keeping the things that would add more damage, like rocks. The stairs were those ones where you step up, then walk a little bit before you get to the next step up. And it curved.
Anyway, the family of the cheese kept putting stuff in the way, and I kept yelling at them to move it to the side. Finally I got to where I wanted to start. I looked down, and the stairs went down and curved to the left. I split the stack of cheese in half, and threw one half down. It rolled pretty well, and hit a good amount of stuff, good damage, until it got to the curve. It kept going straight, and fell off the stairs. I started laughing, saying that was a decent amount of damage. But it had to get to the bottom of the stairs so that the family could learn their lesson, or something. So I threw the other half down. That one almost made it to the bottom, but again, fell off the side. It really wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't what I was supposed to do.
As I walked down the stairs, everyone was cheering and laughing. But I walked over to the tent where the family was set up. It was a cheesey twisty snack tent. There were two kids standing at the entrance to the tent. They were short and blonde. They looked really sad.. for me. Then they went inside. The mother came around the side. She was big, and her hair looked like cheesey twisty snacks, tied up on either side of her head. I started to apologize to her, but she stopped me. She asked if she could just write it out, and I told her it wouldn't be hard enough for me to read it than it would be to hear it from her now. But she walked off. The dad came by and I started apologizing to him, but he stopped me too. Then he started talking about the family. Like, the cheese would've been Angelo. It would've been born as a boy in the family.
I started crying, and kept apologizing. Then they brought out pictures, but they were on a big sheet, perforated, so each one could be torn off. They were telling me who was in each picture. "This is -so-and-so-, on my side," the mother would say, "and her -something- will be your brother." And on like that, showing me who would be my brother. And I kept crying. I felt so bad.
I think that's where I woke up. I wasn't crying as hard as I was in the dream, but I was gasping air like I was.
Anyway.. yeah. Dumbest dream ever, but it made me cry. ::shrugs::
---
My Thoughts
I have absolutely no idea.....
Sat, Jan. 20th, 2007, 12:26 pm
The Dream
Huge room with tons of people. We were all sitting in chairs, girls facing guys, but kinda set in a circle. Girls were drawing names out of a hat. This was supposed to be the guy we would go on a date with. I drew one, but the girl holding the hat gave me another crumpled piece of paper... like a second choice, or something. And she just smiled knowingly at me. I opened up the paper from the hat, and it had a boy's name, then the name of the girl he was hoping to be with. It wasn't me, and I wasn't interested in the guy anyway. The crumpled up paper was Pochin, and it said he wanted to be with me. The girls next to me asked why I got two, and I told them the crumpled one was just a note from someone.
Then we were at a supermarket. Like a glorified Rite Aid, actually. I was in one of my sleeping gowns (that Yubo calls a muumuu), and everyone else was is pretty dresses or skirts. I felt ugly. Whatever girlfriend I was with said I looked fine. So we went into the store, and they had closed it just for us. Then I realized that I only brought a travel hair brush, and lip gloss, and maybe my wallet (I don't remember). For whatever reason, I forgot my purse, but I didn't go back to the car. All the girls waited in a semi-circle around the front doors. And the guys would come in, and pick the girl they wanted, and then they'd go off. I was hoping to get Pochin, so each guy that came through, I prayed he wouldn't pick me. Then Wakko comes running through the door with a big smile on his face and he grabs me around the waist and spins me. I can't help but smile, even though I'm a little disappointed that it wasn't Pochin. But I was still happy with Wakko because he's such a good friend. He said he picked me because he can't dance well but I would understand. So we danced up this big ramp in a psycho version of a waltz, but we were having tons of fun. By the time we got to the landing at the top of the ramp, we were suddenly Sakura and Syaoran. o.0???
And the rest of the dream was uneventful. Something about renting a bag to put my stuff in.
---
My Thoughts
I will admit that my attraction to Pochin is the farthest I've ever gone in the way of "cradle robbing," even though we never dated. He is quite the stud, so it's no surprise to me to have him in a dream in this way.
Dreaming about Wakko is an interesting thing to read about -- I mean, I don't particularly remember this dream at all. Wakko (the nickname came from Animaniacs in 4th grade and it stuck -- he still calls me Dot, and we do have a Yakko) and I have never made any deep connections in our friendship. We never confided in each other about anything, but knew that we would always be there for each other in a sibling kind of way.
What's funny is that in the dream he said he couldn't dance, but he was on dance team senior year in high school and did pretty well. Reading about this dream makes me wish we did connect on a deeper level, but I don't really regret anything. I know that we still maintain our sibling-ish friendship despite being so disconnected now.
And I love how cosplay still has to creep into my dream somehow. LoL.
Huge room with tons of people. We were all sitting in chairs, girls facing guys, but kinda set in a circle. Girls were drawing names out of a hat. This was supposed to be the guy we would go on a date with. I drew one, but the girl holding the hat gave me another crumpled piece of paper... like a second choice, or something. And she just smiled knowingly at me. I opened up the paper from the hat, and it had a boy's name, then the name of the girl he was hoping to be with. It wasn't me, and I wasn't interested in the guy anyway. The crumpled up paper was Pochin, and it said he wanted to be with me. The girls next to me asked why I got two, and I told them the crumpled one was just a note from someone.
Then we were at a supermarket. Like a glorified Rite Aid, actually. I was in one of my sleeping gowns (that Yubo calls a muumuu), and everyone else was is pretty dresses or skirts. I felt ugly. Whatever girlfriend I was with said I looked fine. So we went into the store, and they had closed it just for us. Then I realized that I only brought a travel hair brush, and lip gloss, and maybe my wallet (I don't remember). For whatever reason, I forgot my purse, but I didn't go back to the car. All the girls waited in a semi-circle around the front doors. And the guys would come in, and pick the girl they wanted, and then they'd go off. I was hoping to get Pochin, so each guy that came through, I prayed he wouldn't pick me. Then Wakko comes running through the door with a big smile on his face and he grabs me around the waist and spins me. I can't help but smile, even though I'm a little disappointed that it wasn't Pochin. But I was still happy with Wakko because he's such a good friend. He said he picked me because he can't dance well but I would understand. So we danced up this big ramp in a psycho version of a waltz, but we were having tons of fun. By the time we got to the landing at the top of the ramp, we were suddenly Sakura and Syaoran. o.0???
And the rest of the dream was uneventful. Something about renting a bag to put my stuff in.
---
My Thoughts
I will admit that my attraction to Pochin is the farthest I've ever gone in the way of "cradle robbing," even though we never dated. He is quite the stud, so it's no surprise to me to have him in a dream in this way.
Dreaming about Wakko is an interesting thing to read about -- I mean, I don't particularly remember this dream at all. Wakko (the nickname came from Animaniacs in 4th grade and it stuck -- he still calls me Dot, and we do have a Yakko) and I have never made any deep connections in our friendship. We never confided in each other about anything, but knew that we would always be there for each other in a sibling kind of way.
What's funny is that in the dream he said he couldn't dance, but he was on dance team senior year in high school and did pretty well. Reading about this dream makes me wish we did connect on a deeper level, but I don't really regret anything. I know that we still maintain our sibling-ish friendship despite being so disconnected now.
And I love how cosplay still has to creep into my dream somehow. LoL.
Thu, Jan. 18th, 2007, 02:18 pm
The Dream
A bunch of us were on the front lawn of some big college place. Looked like the front lawn of Keppel, but slightly different. Anyway, there was a big gathering of all our friends.. er.. all other people's friends because I didn't know most of them... and I was walking around with Annie Tse and Leeroy, talking about some issues Annie was having and trying to give her advice. So we walked around to a hallway or something, and someone was calling Annie and she tried to ignore it, but eventually turned around. This person, forgot who it was, told Annie that she had to go do an interview for some newspaper. So Leeroy and I teased her about being all popular and important. She ran off to the interview, and we kept walking. Our hands brushed, and I actually took his hand. My hand was on top though. I note it because that's weird to me. I never do that with a guy. Anyway, took his hand. Thought it'd be okai since I consider him a brother. We walked through these glass double-doors and the floor was really slippery for some reason. People were slipping and falling, or skating and having fun. I slipped a little bit, but Leeroy kept my hand and held me up. Then we skated through. Some frat boys, friends of his, started teasing him about me. He tried to get me to spin and have fun (with one hand gripping mine and the other trying to lift me from my butt o.0;;), but we were already on regular floor. We kept walking through this lounge place, and I wrapped his arms around my waist as we walked through the door that lead outside. I kept thinking it would've been nice if I didn't consider him a brother.
We walked back to our group and let go of each other. I think in the dream, I was still with Johnny, and I didn't want him to see me in Leeroy's arm. When we got there, a lot of people were gone. I asked why they couldn't compress closer to the door so we wouldn't have had to walk so far. Wakko said something about them trying but it didn't work. Then I saw a line of girls, 7 or 9 of them. Half were dressed in white fabric all twisted up like college attempts at Greek fashion, and the other half in Tahitian grass skirts that came up to their armpits and huge banana leaf headdresses. They were attempting a Tahitian dance in front of a long line of other women. I spotted my sister as one of the "Greek" ones. They started shaking their hips, and I told the people around me how hard that really is. Then the long line of girls started chasing the 7 or 9 pledges, and I sighed disapprovingly that my sister was trying out for a sorority again. I noted that she never met good people in those things.
I believe I woke up after that, feeling rather confused.
---
My Thoughts
I don't know if I've had Leeroy in a dream before this, but just in case, I'll clarify who he is. His real name is Jeff, and I do consider him a godbrother of sorts. We were really close towards the end of high school, but don't really make much effort to keep in touch nowadays.
I also don't think my sister was ever in a sorority. Maybe she was in Shoshoni in high school???? I don't know if that's true. As far as I know, she never did that kind of stuff outside being in show choir.
A bunch of us were on the front lawn of some big college place. Looked like the front lawn of Keppel, but slightly different. Anyway, there was a big gathering of all our friends.. er.. all other people's friends because I didn't know most of them... and I was walking around with Annie Tse and Leeroy, talking about some issues Annie was having and trying to give her advice. So we walked around to a hallway or something, and someone was calling Annie and she tried to ignore it, but eventually turned around. This person, forgot who it was, told Annie that she had to go do an interview for some newspaper. So Leeroy and I teased her about being all popular and important. She ran off to the interview, and we kept walking. Our hands brushed, and I actually took his hand. My hand was on top though. I note it because that's weird to me. I never do that with a guy. Anyway, took his hand. Thought it'd be okai since I consider him a brother. We walked through these glass double-doors and the floor was really slippery for some reason. People were slipping and falling, or skating and having fun. I slipped a little bit, but Leeroy kept my hand and held me up. Then we skated through. Some frat boys, friends of his, started teasing him about me. He tried to get me to spin and have fun (with one hand gripping mine and the other trying to lift me from my butt o.0;;), but we were already on regular floor. We kept walking through this lounge place, and I wrapped his arms around my waist as we walked through the door that lead outside. I kept thinking it would've been nice if I didn't consider him a brother.
We walked back to our group and let go of each other. I think in the dream, I was still with Johnny, and I didn't want him to see me in Leeroy's arm. When we got there, a lot of people were gone. I asked why they couldn't compress closer to the door so we wouldn't have had to walk so far. Wakko said something about them trying but it didn't work. Then I saw a line of girls, 7 or 9 of them. Half were dressed in white fabric all twisted up like college attempts at Greek fashion, and the other half in Tahitian grass skirts that came up to their armpits and huge banana leaf headdresses. They were attempting a Tahitian dance in front of a long line of other women. I spotted my sister as one of the "Greek" ones. They started shaking their hips, and I told the people around me how hard that really is. Then the long line of girls started chasing the 7 or 9 pledges, and I sighed disapprovingly that my sister was trying out for a sorority again. I noted that she never met good people in those things.
I believe I woke up after that, feeling rather confused.
---
My Thoughts
I don't know if I've had Leeroy in a dream before this, but just in case, I'll clarify who he is. His real name is Jeff, and I do consider him a godbrother of sorts. We were really close towards the end of high school, but don't really make much effort to keep in touch nowadays.
I also don't think my sister was ever in a sorority. Maybe she was in Shoshoni in high school???? I don't know if that's true. As far as I know, she never did that kind of stuff outside being in show choir.
Thu, Nov. 30th, 2006, 11:39 am
The Dream
Mi-chan was over, just hanging out. Somehow, I was lying back on my bed, and she was resting on top of me, but she was my cat. And I thought it was really cute so I tried to take a picture of it. Then she wanted a more "exciting" picture, so she opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out towards me. I laughed, and did the same, but then our tongues touched and she freaked out. Then started explaining something about how she didn't know why she did that something something wanted attention. I told her something about how I understood.. something something.. Asian families tend to make you like that unless your parents are totally white-washed... like the Noboris. o.0 But I guess they kinda are.. ^^;;
So we got up to leave the apartment. I was saying something about the snow, but it was raining hard instead. But the rain was warm. And it was falling horizontally.. er.. so I guess it wasn't falling... But I said something like, "It's like Hawaii rain. I love Hawaii rain!" because of it being warm. And I held my hand up like you do to let someone punch it, and the rain was hitting my hand, but not really my face. I wanted to get my camera to take a picture, so I tried running back to the apartment, but there were a bunch of potholes everywhere that filled with water and mud. I kept slipping, and realized that we'd gone farther away from the house than I'd thought. Suddenly there was a visible gust of wind, and I had to brace myself against a fence. A big whoosh of water flowed towards us, but when it got to us, it wasn't so bad. I did climb the fence a bit, though, because I saw more coming. When you looked towards the horizon, waves rose up and up. They came crashing down like at the beach, except the water actually flowed around us and stayed. It didn't really draw back. I was looking out over the water, clinging to the fence, screaming her name. I couldn't see her. The bag she was carrying with her stuff in it was floating around, all the contents scattered in the water. For some reason, the Tofu plushie I got that I put the 'S' hat on (my mom sent me a cap with an 'S' on the front to give to Yubo) floated over to me. I grabbed it, and all the other stuff floated to me. I grabbed the big bag she was carrying and tried to stuff everything back in. Then I saw her head break surface, and I kept screaming for her. I kept thinking I wanted to jump in and save her, but I knew I couldn't swim. And then I think the dream ended.
Then I was just sitting around before I was transported to another world.. parallel or something. It was me and three others. We had to complete a mission or we couldn't get out. We found a place that had our names on the mail box, so we figured this was the living arrangement set up for us. I remember catching a glimpse of a display case that had a poster of school dates and my name on it.. it was like my schedule of classes that I was supposed to take.. to go to school in this world and pretend like we belonged. We rushed up to find our room, but for some reason, no one cared to look at what number our room was.. just that it was in this building. So we went up three flights, didn't see anything promising, went down a flight and went through a door. It led into a library, and we met up with a bunch of people. We sat there and chatted at a lounge area.. couches and a coffee table.. and the couches were filled with people sitting shoulder to shoulder. Then someone brought out some demo CDs of their band or something, and passed them out. Then a small group of girls came up and brought out their demo CD to pass out, though it was $.80. Everyone was jumping over themselves and yelling to try to get one. I hushed them, reminding them that we were in a library. I could hear the murmurs of how we were disrupting the work at other tables. Yubo grabbed one, and said he paid for it already. For some reason I was bothered that he bought something like this without passing it by me first, but I gave in and bought my own. I dug into my wallet and fished out a bunch of dimes, and for some reason, it was hard to count out 8. I had to do it a couple of times, but finally managed.
When they left with their money collected, us at the table started talking again. Something about Mary Kay, and that other than me, there were two more that the group knew. So everyone was kinda torn between who to go to for their MK needs. Although the group didn't know I was a consultant until I told them.
And I don't remember much after that.
---
My Thoughts
I suspect the Mi-chan in this dream is my friend Lisa, and not Yubo's younger cousin. I seem to also have a few very memorable flood dreams, although this isn't one of them.
Mi-chan was over, just hanging out. Somehow, I was lying back on my bed, and she was resting on top of me, but she was my cat. And I thought it was really cute so I tried to take a picture of it. Then she wanted a more "exciting" picture, so she opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out towards me. I laughed, and did the same, but then our tongues touched and she freaked out. Then started explaining something about how she didn't know why she did that something something wanted attention. I told her something about how I understood.. something something.. Asian families tend to make you like that unless your parents are totally white-washed... like the Noboris. o.0 But I guess they kinda are.. ^^;;
So we got up to leave the apartment. I was saying something about the snow, but it was raining hard instead. But the rain was warm. And it was falling horizontally.. er.. so I guess it wasn't falling... But I said something like, "It's like Hawaii rain. I love Hawaii rain!" because of it being warm. And I held my hand up like you do to let someone punch it, and the rain was hitting my hand, but not really my face. I wanted to get my camera to take a picture, so I tried running back to the apartment, but there were a bunch of potholes everywhere that filled with water and mud. I kept slipping, and realized that we'd gone farther away from the house than I'd thought. Suddenly there was a visible gust of wind, and I had to brace myself against a fence. A big whoosh of water flowed towards us, but when it got to us, it wasn't so bad. I did climb the fence a bit, though, because I saw more coming. When you looked towards the horizon, waves rose up and up. They came crashing down like at the beach, except the water actually flowed around us and stayed. It didn't really draw back. I was looking out over the water, clinging to the fence, screaming her name. I couldn't see her. The bag she was carrying with her stuff in it was floating around, all the contents scattered in the water. For some reason, the Tofu plushie I got that I put the 'S' hat on (my mom sent me a cap with an 'S' on the front to give to Yubo) floated over to me. I grabbed it, and all the other stuff floated to me. I grabbed the big bag she was carrying and tried to stuff everything back in. Then I saw her head break surface, and I kept screaming for her. I kept thinking I wanted to jump in and save her, but I knew I couldn't swim. And then I think the dream ended.
Then I was just sitting around before I was transported to another world.. parallel or something. It was me and three others. We had to complete a mission or we couldn't get out. We found a place that had our names on the mail box, so we figured this was the living arrangement set up for us. I remember catching a glimpse of a display case that had a poster of school dates and my name on it.. it was like my schedule of classes that I was supposed to take.. to go to school in this world and pretend like we belonged. We rushed up to find our room, but for some reason, no one cared to look at what number our room was.. just that it was in this building. So we went up three flights, didn't see anything promising, went down a flight and went through a door. It led into a library, and we met up with a bunch of people. We sat there and chatted at a lounge area.. couches and a coffee table.. and the couches were filled with people sitting shoulder to shoulder. Then someone brought out some demo CDs of their band or something, and passed them out. Then a small group of girls came up and brought out their demo CD to pass out, though it was $.80. Everyone was jumping over themselves and yelling to try to get one. I hushed them, reminding them that we were in a library. I could hear the murmurs of how we were disrupting the work at other tables. Yubo grabbed one, and said he paid for it already. For some reason I was bothered that he bought something like this without passing it by me first, but I gave in and bought my own. I dug into my wallet and fished out a bunch of dimes, and for some reason, it was hard to count out 8. I had to do it a couple of times, but finally managed.
When they left with their money collected, us at the table started talking again. Something about Mary Kay, and that other than me, there were two more that the group knew. So everyone was kinda torn between who to go to for their MK needs. Although the group didn't know I was a consultant until I told them.
And I don't remember much after that.
---
My Thoughts
I suspect the Mi-chan in this dream is my friend Lisa, and not Yubo's younger cousin. I seem to also have a few very memorable flood dreams, although this isn't one of them.
Wed, Oct. 4th, 2006, 10:57 am
The Dream
I dreamt that I was at this house with Neko and a bunch of other people, though I don't remember who everyone else was. I think Akemi was in there somewhere. I think people were playing games, and we were all talking, and then Neko started being a real jerk to me. So I got up to leave. When I opened the front door, it was massive down-pour. I couldn't see two inches away, the rain was coming down that hard. But being stubborn, I flipped up my hood and walked out into the rain anyway. For whatever reason, Akemi followed me. I was walking slowly, but she was power-walking and running to try to get out of the rain. Then we were walking past police officers and random people. Some people had died. To my right, it looked like there was a big fire. I ran to catch up with Akemi, but not let her know I was trying to catch up to her. I followed her closely now because I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. After that, I ended up at my cousins' house or something, but it was this huge mansion. There was a little intercom thing at the door. That was neat. So then my cousin Darren came to open the door. Went in, and asked him where my cousin Linda was. I heard video games being played in some of the other rooms. There were a lot of rooms. o.o;; And in one of them, I found Neko again. And he was still being a jerk to me. And he was searching this site or something to find a scene from a game that he liked, cuz he wanted to save it for some reason. So he found a bunch of scenes, and finally settled on this scene with Yuffie in it, but it wasn't Yuffie, and it SO wasn't FF. ::shrugs::
And after that, I don't really remember anything.
o.0;;
I remembered something. At the end of the dream.. or maybe a different dream because I woke up and went back to sleep several times..
Oh! I think it was another dream. Even though Neko was being a jerk, we went out to some shopping place. We were with a bunch of other people though. I found my parents' jewelry store (o.o?), and went to my mom for comfort. Suddenly, everyone decided to leave. And somewhere near the end of it, I remember looking at a picture of Akemi, which was awkwardly on this flyer with some random ads on it, and crying really hard as I told her (the picture), "I love you so much", or something to that effect.
k. I think that was it.
---
My Thoughts
I dunno... maybe I was in a place where I expected every guy that I care about to be a jerk to me? And I wonder if my crying over Akemi's picture was reminiscent of how I cried over the card she wrote me when I moved up here.
I dreamt that I was at this house with Neko and a bunch of other people, though I don't remember who everyone else was. I think Akemi was in there somewhere. I think people were playing games, and we were all talking, and then Neko started being a real jerk to me. So I got up to leave. When I opened the front door, it was massive down-pour. I couldn't see two inches away, the rain was coming down that hard. But being stubborn, I flipped up my hood and walked out into the rain anyway. For whatever reason, Akemi followed me. I was walking slowly, but she was power-walking and running to try to get out of the rain. Then we were walking past police officers and random people. Some people had died. To my right, it looked like there was a big fire. I ran to catch up with Akemi, but not let her know I was trying to catch up to her. I followed her closely now because I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. After that, I ended up at my cousins' house or something, but it was this huge mansion. There was a little intercom thing at the door. That was neat. So then my cousin Darren came to open the door. Went in, and asked him where my cousin Linda was. I heard video games being played in some of the other rooms. There were a lot of rooms. o.o;; And in one of them, I found Neko again. And he was still being a jerk to me. And he was searching this site or something to find a scene from a game that he liked, cuz he wanted to save it for some reason. So he found a bunch of scenes, and finally settled on this scene with Yuffie in it, but it wasn't Yuffie, and it SO wasn't FF. ::shrugs::
And after that, I don't really remember anything.
o.0;;
I remembered something. At the end of the dream.. or maybe a different dream because I woke up and went back to sleep several times..
Oh! I think it was another dream. Even though Neko was being a jerk, we went out to some shopping place. We were with a bunch of other people though. I found my parents' jewelry store (o.o?), and went to my mom for comfort. Suddenly, everyone decided to leave. And somewhere near the end of it, I remember looking at a picture of Akemi, which was awkwardly on this flyer with some random ads on it, and crying really hard as I told her (the picture), "I love you so much", or something to that effect.
k. I think that was it.
---
My Thoughts
I dunno... maybe I was in a place where I expected every guy that I care about to be a jerk to me? And I wonder if my crying over Akemi's picture was reminiscent of how I cried over the card she wrote me when I moved up here.
Sun, Sep. 3rd, 2006, 12:57 pm
The Dream
Dream 1: Ants that couldn't be killed were taking over my home.
Dream 2: Archie became my lesbian lover. o.0
---
My Thoughts
Thankfully, ants don't really bother me that much. Even though they swarm (?), they're fairly easy to get rid of. Maybe this dream was feeling bad for trapping ants with tape. At one house, we had a few ant problems. When I saw an ant walking on my desk, instead of squishing it or anything, I put a piece of tape over it and left it there until I was ready to remove the tape and throw it away. No quick death.... they probably suffocated or something.
And I don't know about Archie being my lesbian lover. If we were actually lesbians, I don't think we would work out. I mean, we're great friends but I don't think we'd make it as lovers, even though she really is quite attractive. Just saying...
Dream 1: Ants that couldn't be killed were taking over my home.
Dream 2: Archie became my lesbian lover. o.0
---
My Thoughts
Thankfully, ants don't really bother me that much. Even though they swarm (?), they're fairly easy to get rid of. Maybe this dream was feeling bad for trapping ants with tape. At one house, we had a few ant problems. When I saw an ant walking on my desk, instead of squishing it or anything, I put a piece of tape over it and left it there until I was ready to remove the tape and throw it away. No quick death.... they probably suffocated or something.
And I don't know about Archie being my lesbian lover. If we were actually lesbians, I don't think we would work out. I mean, we're great friends but I don't think we'd make it as lovers, even though she really is quite attractive. Just saying...
Tue, Aug. 29th, 2006, 12:22 pm
The Dream
Dream 1: Neko and I were making out.
Dream 2: Was working at an amusement park. There were too many people, so I had to help manage the line. Another worker set up a drink stand because it was REALLY hot. She called for the Pepsi guy, who was Ross. He drove up, and they set up the stand. I had to back up a portion of the line to this gate. Thankfully, people weren't very angry or anything. Then I got the 'ok' to bring the line up. They got to the drink stand and everyone went crazy trying to get water. Well, not crazy, but some people were holding up the line. So we took care of that by just asking them to keep moving. And I walked down the line to tell everyone that if they were going to share their cup with their group, to only have one person in line. So suddenly, instead of it being a line for the amusement park, it was a huge line for the drink stand. But nobody moved anyway. Still, I walked all the way down the line, pass the gate. And on the other side of the gate was this huge train-like thing, but it looked like those.. plant mascots? You know, when plants grow on a wire form, like in front of Toys'R'Us. Except instead of an animal, it was a huge train, and it actually moved on tracks.
Dream 3: Ricco, who used to work at Fry's with me, was really Rico Suave and used to rap with Vanilla Ice.
---
My Thoughts
I see that I also have a number of dreams involving working at an amusement park, even though I never have irl. I suppose it could be me trying to manage the chaos that is in my head. LoL. I actually really don't care for amusement parks: the crowds, the noise, the waiting in line for an hour for a 2 minute ride, the grossly inflated prices.
Dream 1: Neko and I were making out.
Dream 2: Was working at an amusement park. There were too many people, so I had to help manage the line. Another worker set up a drink stand because it was REALLY hot. She called for the Pepsi guy, who was Ross. He drove up, and they set up the stand. I had to back up a portion of the line to this gate. Thankfully, people weren't very angry or anything. Then I got the 'ok' to bring the line up. They got to the drink stand and everyone went crazy trying to get water. Well, not crazy, but some people were holding up the line. So we took care of that by just asking them to keep moving. And I walked down the line to tell everyone that if they were going to share their cup with their group, to only have one person in line. So suddenly, instead of it being a line for the amusement park, it was a huge line for the drink stand. But nobody moved anyway. Still, I walked all the way down the line, pass the gate. And on the other side of the gate was this huge train-like thing, but it looked like those.. plant mascots? You know, when plants grow on a wire form, like in front of Toys'R'Us. Except instead of an animal, it was a huge train, and it actually moved on tracks.
Dream 3: Ricco, who used to work at Fry's with me, was really Rico Suave and used to rap with Vanilla Ice.
---
My Thoughts
I see that I also have a number of dreams involving working at an amusement park, even though I never have irl. I suppose it could be me trying to manage the chaos that is in my head. LoL. I actually really don't care for amusement parks: the crowds, the noise, the waiting in line for an hour for a 2 minute ride, the grossly inflated prices.
Thu, Aug. 17th, 2006, 01:42 pm
The Dream
I just woke up from a dream about a dance class and Neko. The dance class was at Fullerton. Most of the classes I dream about are there. It was a beginner ballet class. That instructor I saw that I didn't get a good impression of was there. She was leading us through ballet warm-ups that didn't make a whole lot of sense. I hung in the back of the class. I knew I would be good at it, though. Finally, I decided to go to the front line and join in. However, my form was HORRIBLE. And I was wondering what was wrong with me.
We went over the routine, which had nothing to do with ballet. The routine was pretty stupid, and for whatever reason, I couldn't remember it. Neither could anyone else in the class. Then we split the class and practiced in smaller groups. When my group wasn't up, I hung around the side of the class. Neko came up to me (but he actually wasn't Neko at the time). He wanted to practice on our own, and I thought he wanted to go over a basic swing step (so I think it was Eric? cuz I had him show me what he learned in a swing class once), so I started to, but instead, he took my other hand (the one that's held out, because the other was already on his shoulder) and put it around his neck. So we were kinda high-school-slow-dance position, but we were dancing kinda upbeat and smiling and laughing and having lots of fun.
Then he walked me out of the class to the wall to the left of the door. And he pressed me against the wall (what's with me and these scenarios??) and held me. Jessica, that short girl at Fullerton that was OCD about time and took a liking to me the first time we met, walked by and asked if Neko was my boyfriend. I told her, "No, my boyfriend's at work right now" or something like that. And she tsk'ed us, and mimed pulling us apart. But then she left, and we held each other closer, and I wanted to kiss his neck, but I can't remember if I actually did.
Suddenly I was back in the class and we were being tested on the routine. Instead of taking it seriously, most of us just improv'ed it because no one knew what the hell they were doing.
So there was that one.
I've been having a few dreams about parking structures. Different scenarios for why I'm there, but the parking structures are pretty much always the same. And it's usually just me trying to either find parking, or trying to drive out. And it's always really cramped and windy, and it's quite a task just to get down to the exit.
---
My Thoughts
Um.... I honestly don't really have any thoughts or insight about this one. I really do hate not being able to do in dreams what I know I can do irl, though. This goes along with all the dreams of not knowing my lines, not remembering the song, and this not being able to dance.
And I can make a huge stretch about the parking structures representing some sort of feeling of confinement and my inability to escape........ perhaps.
I just woke up from a dream about a dance class and Neko. The dance class was at Fullerton. Most of the classes I dream about are there. It was a beginner ballet class. That instructor I saw that I didn't get a good impression of was there. She was leading us through ballet warm-ups that didn't make a whole lot of sense. I hung in the back of the class. I knew I would be good at it, though. Finally, I decided to go to the front line and join in. However, my form was HORRIBLE. And I was wondering what was wrong with me.
We went over the routine, which had nothing to do with ballet. The routine was pretty stupid, and for whatever reason, I couldn't remember it. Neither could anyone else in the class. Then we split the class and practiced in smaller groups. When my group wasn't up, I hung around the side of the class. Neko came up to me (but he actually wasn't Neko at the time). He wanted to practice on our own, and I thought he wanted to go over a basic swing step (so I think it was Eric? cuz I had him show me what he learned in a swing class once), so I started to, but instead, he took my other hand (the one that's held out, because the other was already on his shoulder) and put it around his neck. So we were kinda high-school-slow-dance position, but we were dancing kinda upbeat and smiling and laughing and having lots of fun.
Then he walked me out of the class to the wall to the left of the door. And he pressed me against the wall (what's with me and these scenarios??) and held me. Jessica, that short girl at Fullerton that was OCD about time and took a liking to me the first time we met, walked by and asked if Neko was my boyfriend. I told her, "No, my boyfriend's at work right now" or something like that. And she tsk'ed us, and mimed pulling us apart. But then she left, and we held each other closer, and I wanted to kiss his neck, but I can't remember if I actually did.
Suddenly I was back in the class and we were being tested on the routine. Instead of taking it seriously, most of us just improv'ed it because no one knew what the hell they were doing.
So there was that one.
I've been having a few dreams about parking structures. Different scenarios for why I'm there, but the parking structures are pretty much always the same. And it's usually just me trying to either find parking, or trying to drive out. And it's always really cramped and windy, and it's quite a task just to get down to the exit.
---
My Thoughts
Um.... I honestly don't really have any thoughts or insight about this one. I really do hate not being able to do in dreams what I know I can do irl, though. This goes along with all the dreams of not knowing my lines, not remembering the song, and this not being able to dance.
And I can make a huge stretch about the parking structures representing some sort of feeling of confinement and my inability to escape........ perhaps.
Sun, Jul. 30th, 2006, 11:23 am
The Dream
I was online chatting with Neko, and he IMed me that he found an entry that Lana had posted. Sent me the link, and I went to her journal (even though I have no idea what her journal is, though I know she has one).
I only remember a few lines that I read:
"I hate her for taking away the trust we had with each other."
"I feel like she's a replacement to fill the space I left behind...."
"....because (or since??) I found a new boyfriend."
o.0?
I also had a dream about this toothbrush that soaks up the toothpaste from the bristles into the handle, so when you're brushing, you squeeze the handle to get more toothpaste onto the brush.
I think that's the second or third toothbrush dream I've ever had. I wonder what's up with that. LoL.
---
My Thoughts
I think this was the beginning of the string of dreams I had that involved Neko. I'm not certain because my memory by time line isn't great, but perhaps it was around this time that things were getting especially tense with Yubo. Through that tension, I started developing feelings for Neko who was there supporting me even though we were so far away from each other. It's a dangerous thing to be attracted to a long-time friend in the midst of an unhealthy relationship.
I think this dream represented how I really wanted to help fill any void in Neko's life. I dunno... two friends deeply hurt by the ones they loved turn to each other for comfort, or some dime store novel plot like that. Not to say that our attraction to each other was cheap and cheesy, but more that the emotions I remember from the dream were quite so.
I was online chatting with Neko, and he IMed me that he found an entry that Lana had posted. Sent me the link, and I went to her journal (even though I have no idea what her journal is, though I know she has one).
I only remember a few lines that I read:
"I hate her for taking away the trust we had with each other."
"I feel like she's a replacement to fill the space I left behind...."
"....because (or since??) I found a new boyfriend."
o.0?
I also had a dream about this toothbrush that soaks up the toothpaste from the bristles into the handle, so when you're brushing, you squeeze the handle to get more toothpaste onto the brush.
I think that's the second or third toothbrush dream I've ever had. I wonder what's up with that. LoL.
---
My Thoughts
I think this was the beginning of the string of dreams I had that involved Neko. I'm not certain because my memory by time line isn't great, but perhaps it was around this time that things were getting especially tense with Yubo. Through that tension, I started developing feelings for Neko who was there supporting me even though we were so far away from each other. It's a dangerous thing to be attracted to a long-time friend in the midst of an unhealthy relationship.
I think this dream represented how I really wanted to help fill any void in Neko's life. I dunno... two friends deeply hurt by the ones they loved turn to each other for comfort, or some dime store novel plot like that. Not to say that our attraction to each other was cheap and cheesy, but more that the emotions I remember from the dream were quite so.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
October 6, 2010
The Dream
Hanging out with some friends, and I got a text about an event going on in a park. I thought it'd be fun to go, so we started off. My mom called me, and I ended up talking to her for quite some time just trying to explain to her that I was with friends on my way to a park to play games and watch fireworks. "It's like the Barnes Park fair," or something like that so she could better understand why we were going to a park.
We were walking instead of driving for some reason. I really wanted to get off the phone with my mom so I could find the address to figure out where we were going. We were still just walking without having any direction. My mom said she had to call me back. I took that opportunity to find the text and show Yubo so he could put it into the maps thingie on his iPhone so we could find out if we were really going the right way.
He was taking so long, even though I told him he had to hurry before my mom called back. He still just took his sweet time, and I was getting really frustrated. Then I saw that it didn't seem like anyone really cared to go to the park in the first place. Yubo and I started to argue. Something happened and we got to where he was about to delete his number from my phone. He just needed to confirm the delete when I grabbed my phone and started running away. (I didn't know that he didn't actually delete it yet)
He started running after me, and I thought I'd get caught easily because he runs faster than I do. But I kept on. He caught me shortly afterward, and I started really fighting with him to get him to let me go. Then our friends caught up and they were trying to keep me from running away. I was so angry, and kept fighting them off. From an outside perspective I was sure it looked like they were trying to molest/rape me, so I tried to use that to get them to leave me alone.
I don't know if it really worked, but suddenly I was pretty far away from them. I was just walking now, but found myself in a really shady area. I got a text from an unknown number that I assumed was either Carol or Neko. Whoever it was sent me pictures of them and me together (but I still couldn't tell who it was because they were super close the the camera with me in the background). Then there were pictures of a homeless community of cosplayers. Then there was an encounter with a bad cop. Something like he saw my knife in my pocket and wanted to make sure it was legal size (?), but he used that to try to do bad things to me. While I was trying to be obedient, keeping my hands on my head or behind my back (we only got as far as him taking off my belt with him trying to aggravate me so he could be more forceful), I was hoping that Yubo was still following me so he could get this cop away from me.
Don't know how that ended because I was suddenly at home. I went upstairs to my parents' room where there were unopened gift boxes from the wedding. I decided to go through them, even though I was so upset with Yubo. I guess this was happening very soon after the wedding.
I found this really sexy slip, and a bunch of thongs and lacy undies that were waaaaay too small. Then Yubo called me, and was asking me to raise my hand and say, "High five." He was trying to trick me to see if I was where he was looking for me. I finally told him that I was at home if he really cared to find me.
I was wearing the slip and fussing with this bra that made me look bigger but ridiculously lopsided. Yubo was at the door with my mom. My mom wanted me to make up with him, but I kept refusing even though I really wanted to. I stayed upstairs, and was actually trying to look really sexy before I came down. But that darn bra just wasn't working so I gave up and just took everything off.
I overheard an uncle or something giving Yubo tips on how to get me back. Something about getting me into the pool because then I couldn't fight as much or run away, or something crazy like that. I woke up before going downstairs.
My Thoughts
I have absolutely no idea what to make of this dream. Yubo and I have not recently been in a fight. I did not go to bed with any ill thoughts or feelings towards him. Actually, we went to bed in afterglow. ^_~
I also don't think I watched or read anything that would've sparked this, so no triggers from irl that I can figure out.
Hanging out with some friends, and I got a text about an event going on in a park. I thought it'd be fun to go, so we started off. My mom called me, and I ended up talking to her for quite some time just trying to explain to her that I was with friends on my way to a park to play games and watch fireworks. "It's like the Barnes Park fair," or something like that so she could better understand why we were going to a park.
We were walking instead of driving for some reason. I really wanted to get off the phone with my mom so I could find the address to figure out where we were going. We were still just walking without having any direction. My mom said she had to call me back. I took that opportunity to find the text and show Yubo so he could put it into the maps thingie on his iPhone so we could find out if we were really going the right way.
He was taking so long, even though I told him he had to hurry before my mom called back. He still just took his sweet time, and I was getting really frustrated. Then I saw that it didn't seem like anyone really cared to go to the park in the first place. Yubo and I started to argue. Something happened and we got to where he was about to delete his number from my phone. He just needed to confirm the delete when I grabbed my phone and started running away. (I didn't know that he didn't actually delete it yet)
He started running after me, and I thought I'd get caught easily because he runs faster than I do. But I kept on. He caught me shortly afterward, and I started really fighting with him to get him to let me go. Then our friends caught up and they were trying to keep me from running away. I was so angry, and kept fighting them off. From an outside perspective I was sure it looked like they were trying to molest/rape me, so I tried to use that to get them to leave me alone.
I don't know if it really worked, but suddenly I was pretty far away from them. I was just walking now, but found myself in a really shady area. I got a text from an unknown number that I assumed was either Carol or Neko. Whoever it was sent me pictures of them and me together (but I still couldn't tell who it was because they were super close the the camera with me in the background). Then there were pictures of a homeless community of cosplayers. Then there was an encounter with a bad cop. Something like he saw my knife in my pocket and wanted to make sure it was legal size (?), but he used that to try to do bad things to me. While I was trying to be obedient, keeping my hands on my head or behind my back (we only got as far as him taking off my belt with him trying to aggravate me so he could be more forceful), I was hoping that Yubo was still following me so he could get this cop away from me.
Don't know how that ended because I was suddenly at home. I went upstairs to my parents' room where there were unopened gift boxes from the wedding. I decided to go through them, even though I was so upset with Yubo. I guess this was happening very soon after the wedding.
I found this really sexy slip, and a bunch of thongs and lacy undies that were waaaaay too small. Then Yubo called me, and was asking me to raise my hand and say, "High five." He was trying to trick me to see if I was where he was looking for me. I finally told him that I was at home if he really cared to find me.
I was wearing the slip and fussing with this bra that made me look bigger but ridiculously lopsided. Yubo was at the door with my mom. My mom wanted me to make up with him, but I kept refusing even though I really wanted to. I stayed upstairs, and was actually trying to look really sexy before I came down. But that darn bra just wasn't working so I gave up and just took everything off.
I overheard an uncle or something giving Yubo tips on how to get me back. Something about getting me into the pool because then I couldn't fight as much or run away, or something crazy like that. I woke up before going downstairs.
My Thoughts
I have absolutely no idea what to make of this dream. Yubo and I have not recently been in a fight. I did not go to bed with any ill thoughts or feelings towards him. Actually, we went to bed in afterglow. ^_~
I also don't think I watched or read anything that would've sparked this, so no triggers from irl that I can figure out.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
September 25, 2010
The Dream
We were packing to go to... SYTE camp, I think it was. But this was happening down in Cali and I was packing out of my parents' house. There was a wedding that we were supposed to be at, and I didn't have anything formal, so I went through my mom's stuff to see if I could find anything that could fit me. Apparently I also had a stash of old dresses that I didn't bring up to WA.
I found a black dress that seemed to fit well, and had to rummage through my mom's shoes to find something to match. Instead of packing the dress, I just wore it. I guess we were going to the campsite to get settled and then straight to the wedding. I looked dumb in a fancy dress with my hair not done and no makeup on, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. At one point I was trying to curl my hair with a warm unplugged straightener on the front porch before we left.
When I was running around outside trying to figure some stuff out, I found myself in a white dress, very similar to what I wore for the WA reception, except it had a layer of white chiffon sewn over the skirt. I enjoyed the added movement the chiffon gave the skirt, and was running and doing very beginner leaps (legs not straight, and not very open).
Then I went back to fuss over shoes. When I finally settled on something and went towards the car, it left without me. There was another car still there, but I went back inside the house.
I was upstairs, and my dad was talking to the rest of the family downstairs. He said loud enough for me to hear something about how he's waiting for this family to be split because of different beliefs. Something came up about being a hypocrite. I told him that I really wanted to talk to him about hypocrisy, and he said he wanted to talk about... something strange that I didn't hear very well.
I went downstairs. Something was making my mom feel unwell, so we used that as an excuse to not go to the wedding. I guess we all didn't want to go in the first place. I think we all forgot about SYTE camp. So we sat on the couches and watched a movie.
My sister and I were sitting on either side of my dad, and he was happy to be surrounded by his daughters. Zenia was sitting next to my sister, and my mom had the loveseat to herself.
I wanted to talk to my dad about Christianity, but Zenia asked me a question before I could start. It was something about which song from which band was more hardcore or something weird like that. I guess they were talking about music before I sat down with them. I told them my opinion, and Zenia pointed out that my mom liked the song that I said was more hardcore, and we thought it was funny that my mom would listen to music like that.
Don't remember what happened then, but at some point it lead to talking about Christianity, and Zenia kept asking a bunch of questions and actually was being very hostile about the topic. My sister was actually trying to get her to calm down because she didn't like how Zenia was talking to me. But I took it well, and did my best to answer her questions. However, if I took to long thinking on how to answer a question, she jumped at the chance to say bad things about Christianity (I suppose because she didn't want to say anything bad about me directly...?). My dad leaned forward so that we were talking behind him as he tried to go back to watching the movie.
I think I left the dream as I was trying to explain how I could listen to... Linkin Park... or something like that.
My Thoughts
I'm not sure what to say about the wedding and SYTE camp, so I'll skip that stuff.
I really want to share my faith with my family, but I've been so scared about it. My mom has been fine with me talking about it, but I don't think she's really listening to me. I think she's just been humoring me a bit. My sister can get a little defensive, but we've never really had a good setting to talk. Over the phone is not good, and she's always very busy when I visit. I know she has the ability to listen to me openly, but I'm not sure if she wants to at this point. And my dad is a whole other thing. When I brought up that I was interested in Christianity (before I became a Christian), he didn't seem to like the idea very much. But he lets me think for myself. Overall, I think I really am a little scared to try and share my faith with my family. It's another thing that I can't seem to completely trust God with (which is dumb, I know). With my grandparents aging, their memory slipping, and my grandmother's condition getting worse, I want them to go to heaven. I pray for them from time to time, but perhaps that should be higher up on my prayer list that I should pray daily.
I think Zenia is the antagonist in this dream because I'm confused about how I feel about her.
I went from not caring that my sister is a lesbian to being torn about it. The rough start my sister had with Z already gave me a bad impression, so I didn't like her at all at the beginning. However, I have to recognize that my sister is now the happiest I've ever seen her, she's clean from drugs, she doesn't seem to get drunk quite so often, and as far as I know, she no longer smokes. Z's tough love has really straightened her out.
But Z's strong personality can clash with mine sometimes. It's like how I am with Joe, Yubo's best friend. With both of them, I can appreciate how brashly honest they are, but it can still rub me wrong.
I suppose where I stand now with my sister's relationship with Z is that I recognize it as love and not lust. I also recognize that there are many homosexual relationships that are strong and full of love and not dirty in the least. I also recognize that there are some straight relationships that are horrible and full of sin. So I seem to have my certainty in case by case situations, and what keeps me confused is where I am completely.
We were packing to go to... SYTE camp, I think it was. But this was happening down in Cali and I was packing out of my parents' house. There was a wedding that we were supposed to be at, and I didn't have anything formal, so I went through my mom's stuff to see if I could find anything that could fit me. Apparently I also had a stash of old dresses that I didn't bring up to WA.
I found a black dress that seemed to fit well, and had to rummage through my mom's shoes to find something to match. Instead of packing the dress, I just wore it. I guess we were going to the campsite to get settled and then straight to the wedding. I looked dumb in a fancy dress with my hair not done and no makeup on, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. At one point I was trying to curl my hair with a warm unplugged straightener on the front porch before we left.
When I was running around outside trying to figure some stuff out, I found myself in a white dress, very similar to what I wore for the WA reception, except it had a layer of white chiffon sewn over the skirt. I enjoyed the added movement the chiffon gave the skirt, and was running and doing very beginner leaps (legs not straight, and not very open).
Then I went back to fuss over shoes. When I finally settled on something and went towards the car, it left without me. There was another car still there, but I went back inside the house.
I was upstairs, and my dad was talking to the rest of the family downstairs. He said loud enough for me to hear something about how he's waiting for this family to be split because of different beliefs. Something came up about being a hypocrite. I told him that I really wanted to talk to him about hypocrisy, and he said he wanted to talk about... something strange that I didn't hear very well.
I went downstairs. Something was making my mom feel unwell, so we used that as an excuse to not go to the wedding. I guess we all didn't want to go in the first place. I think we all forgot about SYTE camp. So we sat on the couches and watched a movie.
My sister and I were sitting on either side of my dad, and he was happy to be surrounded by his daughters. Zenia was sitting next to my sister, and my mom had the loveseat to herself.
I wanted to talk to my dad about Christianity, but Zenia asked me a question before I could start. It was something about which song from which band was more hardcore or something weird like that. I guess they were talking about music before I sat down with them. I told them my opinion, and Zenia pointed out that my mom liked the song that I said was more hardcore, and we thought it was funny that my mom would listen to music like that.
Don't remember what happened then, but at some point it lead to talking about Christianity, and Zenia kept asking a bunch of questions and actually was being very hostile about the topic. My sister was actually trying to get her to calm down because she didn't like how Zenia was talking to me. But I took it well, and did my best to answer her questions. However, if I took to long thinking on how to answer a question, she jumped at the chance to say bad things about Christianity (I suppose because she didn't want to say anything bad about me directly...?). My dad leaned forward so that we were talking behind him as he tried to go back to watching the movie.
I think I left the dream as I was trying to explain how I could listen to... Linkin Park... or something like that.
My Thoughts
I'm not sure what to say about the wedding and SYTE camp, so I'll skip that stuff.
I really want to share my faith with my family, but I've been so scared about it. My mom has been fine with me talking about it, but I don't think she's really listening to me. I think she's just been humoring me a bit. My sister can get a little defensive, but we've never really had a good setting to talk. Over the phone is not good, and she's always very busy when I visit. I know she has the ability to listen to me openly, but I'm not sure if she wants to at this point. And my dad is a whole other thing. When I brought up that I was interested in Christianity (before I became a Christian), he didn't seem to like the idea very much. But he lets me think for myself. Overall, I think I really am a little scared to try and share my faith with my family. It's another thing that I can't seem to completely trust God with (which is dumb, I know). With my grandparents aging, their memory slipping, and my grandmother's condition getting worse, I want them to go to heaven. I pray for them from time to time, but perhaps that should be higher up on my prayer list that I should pray daily.
I think Zenia is the antagonist in this dream because I'm confused about how I feel about her.
I went from not caring that my sister is a lesbian to being torn about it. The rough start my sister had with Z already gave me a bad impression, so I didn't like her at all at the beginning. However, I have to recognize that my sister is now the happiest I've ever seen her, she's clean from drugs, she doesn't seem to get drunk quite so often, and as far as I know, she no longer smokes. Z's tough love has really straightened her out.
But Z's strong personality can clash with mine sometimes. It's like how I am with Joe, Yubo's best friend. With both of them, I can appreciate how brashly honest they are, but it can still rub me wrong.
I suppose where I stand now with my sister's relationship with Z is that I recognize it as love and not lust. I also recognize that there are many homosexual relationships that are strong and full of love and not dirty in the least. I also recognize that there are some straight relationships that are horrible and full of sin. So I seem to have my certainty in case by case situations, and what keeps me confused is where I am completely.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
September 14, 2010
The Dream
Something about having to get girls to stop giving Yubo attention, but I was telling them sternly that I was his fiancée.
Then I had to go to school for some meetings and a test. I had two meetings scheduled at 4:30, so I was trying to figure out which I should really go to. They were the student counsel and peer counseling. I ended up deciding to go to the PC meeting.
I think I took my test first. I ended up on the bottom of a bunk bed. It had a sheer white curtain for privacy. I later found out that it actually had wood panels for more secure privacy, but there wasn't a way to get more light with the panels closed.
I took the test, but near the end of it I realized that I skipped a lot of questions on the first page, so it took me even longer to finish.
I don't recall finishing the test, but then I was out in the hallway with some friends gathering my stuff for the PC meeting. We we're talking a out Johnny, and how he was doing great with his martial arts. I said something about how it was good martial arts but bad acting. Then it was a very TV "he's behind me, isn't he?" moment. I gave him a hug and asked if he was mad at me. He said a little, and I explained that I thought he just needed to take a few more acting classes.
We went off to the meeting as we were all late already. The teacher-adviser was going over things that we needed for the meeting, asking some people why they brought so many unnecessary things.
As we made our way to empty seats, there was a girl that was very excited to see Johnny. We were sort of introducing ourselves to some people around us, and I mentioned that I was Johnny's girlfriend. That girl was very quick to say that we had already broken up. I said, "Why do you have to be so quick to say it? Will you ever let me say it myself? It's nice that there's a girl like you that loves him so much, but seriously..."
Then I sat down at another table and we were reading a Chinese picture book that had English translations. I think it was Po sitting next to me. She told me in Mandarin that she would help me, and I thanked her in Mandarin, though pointing out that I only understood 3/4 of what she said.
I think I woke up shortly after that exchange.
My Thoughts
This was the second or third time I've dreamt about other girls trying to get Yubo's attention, and giving him way too much attention. I didn't post anything because they were little snippets. This particular one was interesting since I told them I was his fiancée and not his wife. I mentioned this part of the dream to my pastor, and told him that I think the fiancée part was because I probably don't feel as secure in our marriage as I should.
The rest of the dream, I don't even know. The peer counseling probably came up because I was talking to Carol about our high school PC days, reminiscing on how unhelpful the group really was. Actually, that whole part of the dream was probably just a huge throw back to high school. I remember thinking it was really funny that my bully wrote me a "love note" about how Johnny should dump me, even though we had already been broken up for a while. It was difficult to see other girls so interested in him, but it wasn't a surprise to me.
That's probably the trend between the two parts of the dream: other girls taking interest in "my guy."
There isn't anything that's happened recently for me to be so concerned with Yubo aside from my own insecurity. He did ask me one night what I would do if he became a pop icon, and I told him my security would plummet. I wouldn't want to see him surrounded and adored by all these other girls because I would feel he'd be able to find someone better than me amongst the horde.
As I was telling him this, my reaction to my own words was a little unusual... I was a little more frightened and emotional about it than I should have been. I was glad that it was right before bed. I just rolled over and tried to sleep.
Something about having to get girls to stop giving Yubo attention, but I was telling them sternly that I was his fiancée.
Then I had to go to school for some meetings and a test. I had two meetings scheduled at 4:30, so I was trying to figure out which I should really go to. They were the student counsel and peer counseling. I ended up deciding to go to the PC meeting.
I think I took my test first. I ended up on the bottom of a bunk bed. It had a sheer white curtain for privacy. I later found out that it actually had wood panels for more secure privacy, but there wasn't a way to get more light with the panels closed.
I took the test, but near the end of it I realized that I skipped a lot of questions on the first page, so it took me even longer to finish.
I don't recall finishing the test, but then I was out in the hallway with some friends gathering my stuff for the PC meeting. We we're talking a out Johnny, and how he was doing great with his martial arts. I said something about how it was good martial arts but bad acting. Then it was a very TV "he's behind me, isn't he?" moment. I gave him a hug and asked if he was mad at me. He said a little, and I explained that I thought he just needed to take a few more acting classes.
We went off to the meeting as we were all late already. The teacher-adviser was going over things that we needed for the meeting, asking some people why they brought so many unnecessary things.
As we made our way to empty seats, there was a girl that was very excited to see Johnny. We were sort of introducing ourselves to some people around us, and I mentioned that I was Johnny's girlfriend. That girl was very quick to say that we had already broken up. I said, "Why do you have to be so quick to say it? Will you ever let me say it myself? It's nice that there's a girl like you that loves him so much, but seriously..."
Then I sat down at another table and we were reading a Chinese picture book that had English translations. I think it was Po sitting next to me. She told me in Mandarin that she would help me, and I thanked her in Mandarin, though pointing out that I only understood 3/4 of what she said.
I think I woke up shortly after that exchange.
My Thoughts
This was the second or third time I've dreamt about other girls trying to get Yubo's attention, and giving him way too much attention. I didn't post anything because they were little snippets. This particular one was interesting since I told them I was his fiancée and not his wife. I mentioned this part of the dream to my pastor, and told him that I think the fiancée part was because I probably don't feel as secure in our marriage as I should.
The rest of the dream, I don't even know. The peer counseling probably came up because I was talking to Carol about our high school PC days, reminiscing on how unhelpful the group really was. Actually, that whole part of the dream was probably just a huge throw back to high school. I remember thinking it was really funny that my bully wrote me a "love note" about how Johnny should dump me, even though we had already been broken up for a while. It was difficult to see other girls so interested in him, but it wasn't a surprise to me.
That's probably the trend between the two parts of the dream: other girls taking interest in "my guy."
There isn't anything that's happened recently for me to be so concerned with Yubo aside from my own insecurity. He did ask me one night what I would do if he became a pop icon, and I told him my security would plummet. I wouldn't want to see him surrounded and adored by all these other girls because I would feel he'd be able to find someone better than me amongst the horde.
As I was telling him this, my reaction to my own words was a little unusual... I was a little more frightened and emotional about it than I should have been. I was glad that it was right before bed. I just rolled over and tried to sleep.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
September 11, 2010
The Dream
At Keppel, but the hallways were much larger, more like the halls of a mall. It was the end of the school year, my final year, and I had to clean out my lockers. Yeah... plural. I had three. But I could only remember the combination for one. There was a rough looking guy sitting right next to the bottom locker, the one I remembered the combo for. He kept glancing over, so as I turned the knob, I covered it with my palm so he couldn't see the numbers. I couldn't see the numbers either but just waited to feel it click, hoping I got the numbers right. I did, and it opened. I rifled through loose papers, and books with shopping bag and calendar covers that were decorated in my handwriting to identify which book was which. I ended up just reorganizing the locker, leaving everything in there.
Then I met up with a few people at the door leading to the east gate. This was where it was very spacious, like it was designed to allow people to wait and linger. It was either Yubo or Johnny that had his arms around me -- I think it might have been both, turning into each other throughout this part of the dream. As I cuddled up to him, I was on the phone with Wakko. Then the call cut out and it was Chung on the other line. It seemed they both wanted to see me off, so were trying to figure out where I was.
Everyone left and I was alone in a hallway that had cafeteria tables, although it was more like what you would see at a food court, with loose chairs. I was sitting at a table minding my own business. Some sort of mecha anime club was meeting in a classroom not far from me. One person actually walked out of the room in a blue mecha suit, and upon seeing it, I thought it was entirely normal.
My Thoughts
Whenever I dream of having a boyfriend, it's usually either Yubo or Johnny. About half the time, the shift into each other like they did in this dream. Out of all my ex's to be in my dreams, I wonder why it's Johnny. Nothing against it. LoL. But even for a high school bf, I figured it would be Koji instead of Johnny. Well.... I do still have how long we were together engraved in my mind: 2 years, 3 months, 5 days. And he's been in my life the longest since we grew up together. And I could say he was nearly my first love.
I remember when we would rollerblade together around his house, I would get jealous when he paid my sister more attention. And I would have fantasies that our parents would arrange a marriage between us.
\(＾▽＾)/ Hahahahaha~! Ah... youth.
At Keppel, but the hallways were much larger, more like the halls of a mall. It was the end of the school year, my final year, and I had to clean out my lockers. Yeah... plural. I had three. But I could only remember the combination for one. There was a rough looking guy sitting right next to the bottom locker, the one I remembered the combo for. He kept glancing over, so as I turned the knob, I covered it with my palm so he couldn't see the numbers. I couldn't see the numbers either but just waited to feel it click, hoping I got the numbers right. I did, and it opened. I rifled through loose papers, and books with shopping bag and calendar covers that were decorated in my handwriting to identify which book was which. I ended up just reorganizing the locker, leaving everything in there.
Then I met up with a few people at the door leading to the east gate. This was where it was very spacious, like it was designed to allow people to wait and linger. It was either Yubo or Johnny that had his arms around me -- I think it might have been both, turning into each other throughout this part of the dream. As I cuddled up to him, I was on the phone with Wakko. Then the call cut out and it was Chung on the other line. It seemed they both wanted to see me off, so were trying to figure out where I was.
Everyone left and I was alone in a hallway that had cafeteria tables, although it was more like what you would see at a food court, with loose chairs. I was sitting at a table minding my own business. Some sort of mecha anime club was meeting in a classroom not far from me. One person actually walked out of the room in a blue mecha suit, and upon seeing it, I thought it was entirely normal.
My Thoughts
Whenever I dream of having a boyfriend, it's usually either Yubo or Johnny. About half the time, the shift into each other like they did in this dream. Out of all my ex's to be in my dreams, I wonder why it's Johnny. Nothing against it. LoL. But even for a high school bf, I figured it would be Koji instead of Johnny. Well.... I do still have how long we were together engraved in my mind: 2 years, 3 months, 5 days. And he's been in my life the longest since we grew up together. And I could say he was nearly my first love.
I remember when we would rollerblade together around his house, I would get jealous when he paid my sister more attention. And I would have fantasies that our parents would arrange a marriage between us.
\(＾▽＾)/ Hahahahaha~! Ah... youth.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
September 8, 2010
The Dream
- I was at M-1 (the old one since I haven't been in the new music room yet). It was time for choreo. Mr.A was working with the group outside. When it was time to go inside, I saw that there were only two boys holding yellow warning tape. I asked what happened. They said Mr.A got mad and a bunch of people left instead of staying for the rest of choreo. Suddenly I was inside, waiting for the boys to come in past the shelves. We had 6 basses left, and Mr.A was pleased that they stayed. Then we found that a number of others stayed, or came back, and we resumed rehearsal. At the end of rehearsal, I walked with Mr.A towards the teachers' lounge. I was confirming that he wanted me to chaperone Hawaii. He confirmed, and when I told the kids, they were all excited. But I realized that we were going in October (for the whole month, I think), and I would have classes, so I wondered how it would work out.
- I was married to my mom somehow. She wanted me to get pregnant. However, she only gave me two options. The first was to get pregnant by a duck. The second was to go to my dad. There was a lot of discussion before I realized that I was actually married to Yubo, so why didn't I get pregnant by him?
- It's been a while since I've had a choreo dream. This one even had a mention of tour. Two topics that come up frequently in my dreams, but never in the same dream. I really do wonder why I dream about choir, choreo and tour so often. Do I really miss it that much? I wasn't even thinking about it lately.
- WTH?? Pregnant by a duck or my dad. Ugh. What's going on in my head? That's just ridiculous, even if I lived on a farm in a middle state. Yeesh. At least I came to my senses by the end of the dream. Goodness gracious.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Thu, Jun. 29th, 2006, 03:24 pm
The Dream
I had two of them.
1. I was at a random cluster of houses. Archie drove up. She went towards the door, but I was over by the garage, which for whatever reason was really far from the front door. I called to her, but she didn't hear me. Finally, she walked back from the door and saw me. I brought out the color palette of eyeshadows for her. She said she didn't think they were gonna be regular powder ones. Said she liked the creamy liquid ones better. I told her something like, if you add water to it before you apply it, it gives it a similar consistency. She shrugged and said she'd try it out. I asked her not to use to much of what was there because it's what I use to show my customers or something. Close-up of her eyes and the colors she was applying. A kind of dark gold color to accent a brown she put on first.
Then I walked off to look for the Eyescicles colors that I had. I think those actually have that creaminess to them. There are four colors, and they were all mixed in with some lipsticks that I hadn't organized yet. Then, J was holding me from behind and wouldn't let go. I was still trying to find all the colors. Then I heard Yubo walk up. I heard him say that he was gonna hug me but I had a J on my back. ^^;; I managed to pull J off me, and then Yubo hugged me from behind. *ack*, I said, because it was difficult for me to find stuff while he was hanging on me. J, for some reason, stayed right next to us even though Yubo was there. I was frustrated because I found three colors, and couldn't find that last one. So Yubo tried to help me look for it.
That's all I remember of that one.
2. I was in and out of my body. Sometimes I saw from outside what was going on, and other times, I was right in the situation. It was like an anime or a video game. And the me in this dream isn't really me. Doesn't look like me or anything. I'll describe later.
I watched myself run down a hall. It was kinda dark and a little narrow. Along the walls were etchings... pictures carved in for decoration. But as I walked past, they would glow white and come out of the wall to attack me. I fought. I had a spear of some sort. Kinda like a Chinese staff spear.. but the end was flat and blunt on top, and the bottom was rounded where it was sharp. I wish I had a scanner so I could draw it and upload pictures.. @.@;; I'm so bad at describing things.
Anyway.. I finally decided to sprint to the end of the hall and try to fight them all at once. There was a room at the end of the hall. If you were standing in the doorway facing forward, the wall in front was like a bit altar display thing. And the whole room was red. Then I turned the corner to my left, and on the wall in front of me was a button that I hit with the bottom of the staff. This caused the altar to blaze up, and most of my pursuers got caught in the fire.
There was another passageway to my left. It was all dark and black. I ran down it, and along the wall on my right were door flaps. It was like a haunted fun house type thing. If you went into an open flap, when you closed it behind you, it made the wall look solid. Then there was a little room that you could wait in and look through a peek hole, so you could jump out and scare people. Or whatever. So I ran into one to hide, but it didn't close right behind me. So a guy ran in after me, and I hit him and ran out. I ran further down the way and there was a door on my right that opened up to a huge room. It looked like a theater. The seats went down on a slope, and ended at a big clearing of floor. There was a huge round bed at the far wall. So I ran into the room, running on the tops of the chairs (all Chinese-movie-ish). At the end, I flipped and landed on my back on the bed, and I held out the spear towards the audience (where the seats were) in a pose. I gripped the staff with my left hand, and my right held the spear part up, palm up. The people that were chasing me looked shocked, then actually started to sit in the seats.
The lights dropped, and I didn't have my spear anymore. There were two of my maids on their knees on either side of me on the bed thing, and everyone in the audience was going to hear my story.
A voice spoke out over the speakers, and the maids and I acted out silently the scene. We were all cast in blue light. I stayed lying on my back, and as the story told, I was pleading with one of the maids to let me stay here. To change my name and start a new life here. Finally, she nodded that it would be okai. I gripped her hands in mine, brought one to my face to show my gratitude. And she brought our hands back to her, and she kissed the spot where my thumb meets the rest of my hand. Then they were gone and I was alone on the bed. Overhead lights came on to illuminate a screen, where my new name was displayed. It looked like the start screen of a game. But the words on the screen said "Phantom Dome", but I think it was actually spelled "Phantoame Doame".
Lights at the foot of the bed came on. It showed an elf-like male, and a female that I guess was supposed to be me. I watched the scene quietly, and even when I closed my eyes, I saw it clearly. In the light, you saw that our skin was bluish. He was a darker blue than I was. Actually, I was an extremely pale blue... as if you'd only see the blue in the right light, or when I turned. We were king and queen of a world. I was telling him that I was bored, and that I wanted to leave somewhere. He said something like "Too bad. You know I am not in health for that." He still looked strong, but his health was actually waning. I stood up, a little angry.. and I saw from the bed what I actually looked like. I was tall, and very slender. Had really long, dark blue hair. And I was naked, with only a collar-type thing draped over my shoulders. And at first I had these HUUUGE hentai-ish boobs. But then it turned out that they were actually weird creatures from our world. When I stood, they slipped back, and my boobs were better proportioned to my body. Probably a full B-cup, maybe. (ah.. I wish that was true irl ;.;)
I think I was about to hit him, but something came flying out of the curtains and hit me in the face. Only then did you realize I was wearing a mask. A piece of it chipped and fell to the floor, revealing a portion of my right eye. I jumped away from him. I ran, and there was a railing or something that I grabbed and used to flip me up into the air, and I threw a spell at him while I was in the air. He blocked it, and flung a ball of energy or something at me. I dodged it, and when I landed, he finished casting another spell. I guess he was strong enough to be able to cast two spells at once. This spell that he finished caused a huge tsunami kind of thing to rush towards me, but I had enough time to throw up a barrier.
Yubo called and woke me up before the thing hit me.
---
My Thoughts
Hooray for copy/paste! I would not have wanted to re-type all of that.
Funny thing is that Archie actually really hates cream eye shadows and prefers regular powder ones.
I probably didn't draw the spear because this was typed out instead of being written down. If I wrote it in my journal, I would've drawn it like I did the koala escape plan, the slide and jungle rings, and the bra. I really am bad at describing things though. I would prefer to draw it out whenever possible. My typical response to when someone asks me to describe something is, "I can draw it for you."
Ended in such an epic dream though, right? So excited! Like a movie! What's with me and blue??
I had another dream in a similar movie theater kind of place. It involved pirates or something, and acting to make the audience think it was a play when it was actually a real threat. I mention it now in case I didn't write it down anywhere. Couldn't say any details, only that I re-dreamt this theater.
I had two of them.
1. I was at a random cluster of houses. Archie drove up. She went towards the door, but I was over by the garage, which for whatever reason was really far from the front door. I called to her, but she didn't hear me. Finally, she walked back from the door and saw me. I brought out the color palette of eyeshadows for her. She said she didn't think they were gonna be regular powder ones. Said she liked the creamy liquid ones better. I told her something like, if you add water to it before you apply it, it gives it a similar consistency. She shrugged and said she'd try it out. I asked her not to use to much of what was there because it's what I use to show my customers or something. Close-up of her eyes and the colors she was applying. A kind of dark gold color to accent a brown she put on first.
Then I walked off to look for the Eyescicles colors that I had. I think those actually have that creaminess to them. There are four colors, and they were all mixed in with some lipsticks that I hadn't organized yet. Then, J was holding me from behind and wouldn't let go. I was still trying to find all the colors. Then I heard Yubo walk up. I heard him say that he was gonna hug me but I had a J on my back. ^^;; I managed to pull J off me, and then Yubo hugged me from behind. *ack*, I said, because it was difficult for me to find stuff while he was hanging on me. J, for some reason, stayed right next to us even though Yubo was there. I was frustrated because I found three colors, and couldn't find that last one. So Yubo tried to help me look for it.
That's all I remember of that one.
2. I was in and out of my body. Sometimes I saw from outside what was going on, and other times, I was right in the situation. It was like an anime or a video game. And the me in this dream isn't really me. Doesn't look like me or anything. I'll describe later.
I watched myself run down a hall. It was kinda dark and a little narrow. Along the walls were etchings... pictures carved in for decoration. But as I walked past, they would glow white and come out of the wall to attack me. I fought. I had a spear of some sort. Kinda like a Chinese staff spear.. but the end was flat and blunt on top, and the bottom was rounded where it was sharp. I wish I had a scanner so I could draw it and upload pictures.. @.@;; I'm so bad at describing things.
Anyway.. I finally decided to sprint to the end of the hall and try to fight them all at once. There was a room at the end of the hall. If you were standing in the doorway facing forward, the wall in front was like a bit altar display thing. And the whole room was red. Then I turned the corner to my left, and on the wall in front of me was a button that I hit with the bottom of the staff. This caused the altar to blaze up, and most of my pursuers got caught in the fire.
There was another passageway to my left. It was all dark and black. I ran down it, and along the wall on my right were door flaps. It was like a haunted fun house type thing. If you went into an open flap, when you closed it behind you, it made the wall look solid. Then there was a little room that you could wait in and look through a peek hole, so you could jump out and scare people. Or whatever. So I ran into one to hide, but it didn't close right behind me. So a guy ran in after me, and I hit him and ran out. I ran further down the way and there was a door on my right that opened up to a huge room. It looked like a theater. The seats went down on a slope, and ended at a big clearing of floor. There was a huge round bed at the far wall. So I ran into the room, running on the tops of the chairs (all Chinese-movie-ish). At the end, I flipped and landed on my back on the bed, and I held out the spear towards the audience (where the seats were) in a pose. I gripped the staff with my left hand, and my right held the spear part up, palm up. The people that were chasing me looked shocked, then actually started to sit in the seats.
The lights dropped, and I didn't have my spear anymore. There were two of my maids on their knees on either side of me on the bed thing, and everyone in the audience was going to hear my story.
A voice spoke out over the speakers, and the maids and I acted out silently the scene. We were all cast in blue light. I stayed lying on my back, and as the story told, I was pleading with one of the maids to let me stay here. To change my name and start a new life here. Finally, she nodded that it would be okai. I gripped her hands in mine, brought one to my face to show my gratitude. And she brought our hands back to her, and she kissed the spot where my thumb meets the rest of my hand. Then they were gone and I was alone on the bed. Overhead lights came on to illuminate a screen, where my new name was displayed. It looked like the start screen of a game. But the words on the screen said "Phantom Dome", but I think it was actually spelled "Phantoame Doame".
Lights at the foot of the bed came on. It showed an elf-like male, and a female that I guess was supposed to be me. I watched the scene quietly, and even when I closed my eyes, I saw it clearly. In the light, you saw that our skin was bluish. He was a darker blue than I was. Actually, I was an extremely pale blue... as if you'd only see the blue in the right light, or when I turned. We were king and queen of a world. I was telling him that I was bored, and that I wanted to leave somewhere. He said something like "Too bad. You know I am not in health for that." He still looked strong, but his health was actually waning. I stood up, a little angry.. and I saw from the bed what I actually looked like. I was tall, and very slender. Had really long, dark blue hair. And I was naked, with only a collar-type thing draped over my shoulders. And at first I had these HUUUGE hentai-ish boobs. But then it turned out that they were actually weird creatures from our world. When I stood, they slipped back, and my boobs were better proportioned to my body. Probably a full B-cup, maybe. (ah.. I wish that was true irl ;.;)
I think I was about to hit him, but something came flying out of the curtains and hit me in the face. Only then did you realize I was wearing a mask. A piece of it chipped and fell to the floor, revealing a portion of my right eye. I jumped away from him. I ran, and there was a railing or something that I grabbed and used to flip me up into the air, and I threw a spell at him while I was in the air. He blocked it, and flung a ball of energy or something at me. I dodged it, and when I landed, he finished casting another spell. I guess he was strong enough to be able to cast two spells at once. This spell that he finished caused a huge tsunami kind of thing to rush towards me, but I had enough time to throw up a barrier.
Yubo called and woke me up before the thing hit me.
---
My Thoughts
Hooray for copy/paste! I would not have wanted to re-type all of that.
Funny thing is that Archie actually really hates cream eye shadows and prefers regular powder ones.
I probably didn't draw the spear because this was typed out instead of being written down. If I wrote it in my journal, I would've drawn it like I did the koala escape plan, the slide and jungle rings, and the bra. I really am bad at describing things though. I would prefer to draw it out whenever possible. My typical response to when someone asks me to describe something is, "I can draw it for you."
Ended in such an epic dream though, right? So excited! Like a movie! What's with me and blue??
I had another dream in a similar movie theater kind of place. It involved pirates or something, and acting to make the audience think it was a play when it was actually a real threat. I mention it now in case I didn't write it down anywhere. Couldn't say any details, only that I re-dreamt this theater.
Sun, Jun. 18th, 2006, 03:36 pm
The Dream
I had a dream that I was trying to do a skin care class with these kids.. like maybe.. 13-16 years old. No, maybe even younger. Probably more 11-13. And then there were some younger kids running around the kitchen. Poor Yubo was getting frustrated with the younger ones because he was on the computer and they were bugging him.
I was doing Satin Hands on them first. There was this boy that kept asking me weird questions. Like, someone he knew had a smaller set of Satin Hands that only cost, like, $13 or something. I was trying to explain to him that maybe it was a Limited Edition item, and so it probably got discontinued already, and that we can't bring it back just because someone out there has one. He finally shut up. We went back to the table in the living room. On the way out, I walked up to Yubo and whispered in his ear "I hate kids" and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He just nodded. Then I went back to join the kids. I was about to start the class, but then I got to talking with the girl closest to me about the little kids in the kitchen. She was saying that one of the younger one was always hanging around this side of the apartments, like he doesn't have any parents, or no one knows where his parents are.
Then I saw this beautiful older girl, maybe somewhere between 16-18, walk past the window. I was wondering who she was. Then the door opened, and she came in with Johnny. In my head, I guess the girl was supposed to be Linda, but it really wasn't. Anyway, Johnny saw me, and he asked me what I was doing here. I gasped, and got up, and hugged him really long. He picked me up a bit, and pressed me against a wall, and we cried in each others shoulders because we missed each other so much.
That's what I woke up from. In my half-awake state, I remember thinking I should apologize to the kids and reschedule the class. And I remember it would've been easier to hang onto Johnny if I wrapped my legs around him, but I thought that might be inappropriate in front of the kids. ^^;;
It was a nice feeling when I woke up. Then I went back to sleep. The dream returned me to the girl I was talking to about the younger kids. I went to visit her house for some reason. I walked into the house on my own, and saw her mom. I bowed to her, and greeted her as "Mrs. Hong-san". o.0 Japanese was spinning in my head, even though I knew they were Chinese. ::shrugs:: She smiled at me, and invited me into the living room, where everyone was. It was a big family. The girl was in the far corner. I remember being a little scared because she had an awkward relationship with her dad, but he didn't make a big fuss or anything. Somewhere in there, I was explaining to them about what I did in MK and that she didn't have to buy anything from me, I was just having her try out the products, and that they're okay for sensitive skin and all that. Though actually.. now that I think on it, I don't remember saying anything. I think I was actually saying everything in my head in case they did ask me. And then I woke up from that.
I had two more dreams today, but I can't exactly remember what they were. Maybe they'll come to me later.
---
My Thoughts
I think it's funny when I know I had a dream, but can't remember it. It's funnier when I can say that I had a certain number of dreams, even if I don't remember them.
Whispering to Yubo that I hate kids is very like me. It's actually not that I hate them, but I do get easily annoyed with them. When I'm not annoyed, I'm intimidated. I don't like the idea of possibly being a bad influence on them. So I like kids before or right when they're able to talk. Once they're past that point, I'd rather not have anything to do with them.
I'd only been a MK consultant for two months at this time. Sucks to have to do something so new (run a skin care class) in front of people that intimidate me the most (children).
I had a dream that I was trying to do a skin care class with these kids.. like maybe.. 13-16 years old. No, maybe even younger. Probably more 11-13. And then there were some younger kids running around the kitchen. Poor Yubo was getting frustrated with the younger ones because he was on the computer and they were bugging him.
I was doing Satin Hands on them first. There was this boy that kept asking me weird questions. Like, someone he knew had a smaller set of Satin Hands that only cost, like, $13 or something. I was trying to explain to him that maybe it was a Limited Edition item, and so it probably got discontinued already, and that we can't bring it back just because someone out there has one. He finally shut up. We went back to the table in the living room. On the way out, I walked up to Yubo and whispered in his ear "I hate kids" and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He just nodded. Then I went back to join the kids. I was about to start the class, but then I got to talking with the girl closest to me about the little kids in the kitchen. She was saying that one of the younger one was always hanging around this side of the apartments, like he doesn't have any parents, or no one knows where his parents are.
Then I saw this beautiful older girl, maybe somewhere between 16-18, walk past the window. I was wondering who she was. Then the door opened, and she came in with Johnny. In my head, I guess the girl was supposed to be Linda, but it really wasn't. Anyway, Johnny saw me, and he asked me what I was doing here. I gasped, and got up, and hugged him really long. He picked me up a bit, and pressed me against a wall, and we cried in each others shoulders because we missed each other so much.
That's what I woke up from. In my half-awake state, I remember thinking I should apologize to the kids and reschedule the class. And I remember it would've been easier to hang onto Johnny if I wrapped my legs around him, but I thought that might be inappropriate in front of the kids. ^^;;
It was a nice feeling when I woke up. Then I went back to sleep. The dream returned me to the girl I was talking to about the younger kids. I went to visit her house for some reason. I walked into the house on my own, and saw her mom. I bowed to her, and greeted her as "Mrs. Hong-san". o.0 Japanese was spinning in my head, even though I knew they were Chinese. ::shrugs:: She smiled at me, and invited me into the living room, where everyone was. It was a big family. The girl was in the far corner. I remember being a little scared because she had an awkward relationship with her dad, but he didn't make a big fuss or anything. Somewhere in there, I was explaining to them about what I did in MK and that she didn't have to buy anything from me, I was just having her try out the products, and that they're okay for sensitive skin and all that. Though actually.. now that I think on it, I don't remember saying anything. I think I was actually saying everything in my head in case they did ask me. And then I woke up from that.
I had two more dreams today, but I can't exactly remember what they were. Maybe they'll come to me later.
---
My Thoughts
I think it's funny when I know I had a dream, but can't remember it. It's funnier when I can say that I had a certain number of dreams, even if I don't remember them.
Whispering to Yubo that I hate kids is very like me. It's actually not that I hate them, but I do get easily annoyed with them. When I'm not annoyed, I'm intimidated. I don't like the idea of possibly being a bad influence on them. So I like kids before or right when they're able to talk. Once they're past that point, I'd rather not have anything to do with them.
I'd only been a MK consultant for two months at this time. Sucks to have to do something so new (run a skin care class) in front of people that intimidate me the most (children).
Sun, May. 7th, 2006, 10:48 pm
The Dream
So for some reason in the past two or three days, I've been having nightmares. I only remember the main part of one and a clip of another one though.
The one I remember happened, I believe, Thursday or Friday night. I was being attacked by raptors, and they were really smart. They were trying to trap me and whoever was with me. I remember shooting at two spots because those were where the raptors were hiding for a bit. Then I was crouched in a room, aiming at the door. I was waiting for the boss raptor. He crossed by a window, and so I aimed for where his head would be when he go to the door. When he got there, my reaction was slow. Suddenly, instead of being in a room, I was in a car. I tried firing at him, but the gun wouldn't go off. Then he backed off, and hit the car with his tail. He was walking around the car, as if he was building up suspense before he really attacked me. Then his head was in the door, and I was still trying to fire at him but nothing came out.
On Saturday morning, I woke up early to make Yubo breakfast before he had to go to work. Was a really good morning, and I was feeling happy, and pleased with myself that I got to make Yubo breakfast and that he really enjoyed it. After that, I decided to sleep for a while longer. During that sleep, I woke up several times after a series of short dreams. Maybe one wasn't bad, but that one only lasted a second before I woke from it. Another one, the one I can only remember a clip of, had something to do with his mom. In my dream, I had a bad dream. When I woke up in the dream, I tried to sketch the idea. All I got were eyes and bags drawn under the eyes. Then I woke up from that.
I've been reading up on nightmares a little bit, and it says that they can be caused by stress. Gah.. every ailment I've had in the past couple of months have been due to stress. x.x;; I can't even think of what I should be stressed about. I don't NEED to get a job right now. I figured the time off would actually give me time to get myself together. It's not about Fry's anymore. And I seem to be taking about a lot of stuff on Yubo. I'll suddenly be frustrated with him, and it'll carry for the rest of the day. I try to fight it. I try to be friendly.. but it doesn't seem to work. I shut off and I don't respond to him. I want to hurt him or make him feel like a jerk when he's done nothing wrong at all. I have this constant tension in my body. It's like I want to be touched and cuddled and taken care of, but not by him. And that makes me feel even more... strained and uneasy... because he should be the one I go to.. right?
::blink:: I think the raptor dream was actually this morning. o.o... I'm really losing track of days. I didn't even take a nap today. Geez... I feel like I'm going crazy. I need a break from myself. @.@;;
---
My Thoughts
I decided to paste just about the entire entry from my dj instead of just cutting out the dreams, especially since I wasn't very clear except for the raptor dreams. It seems the way my mind deals with stress is still the same now as it was back then. I do feel I'm shutting myself away from Yubo again, even though it still seems like I don't have a good reason to be stressed out. The most recent demon and divorce nightmares are still troublesome... mostly because they were fairly powerful dreams.
So for some reason in the past two or three days, I've been having nightmares. I only remember the main part of one and a clip of another one though.
The one I remember happened, I believe, Thursday or Friday night. I was being attacked by raptors, and they were really smart. They were trying to trap me and whoever was with me. I remember shooting at two spots because those were where the raptors were hiding for a bit. Then I was crouched in a room, aiming at the door. I was waiting for the boss raptor. He crossed by a window, and so I aimed for where his head would be when he go to the door. When he got there, my reaction was slow. Suddenly, instead of being in a room, I was in a car. I tried firing at him, but the gun wouldn't go off. Then he backed off, and hit the car with his tail. He was walking around the car, as if he was building up suspense before he really attacked me. Then his head was in the door, and I was still trying to fire at him but nothing came out.
On Saturday morning, I woke up early to make Yubo breakfast before he had to go to work. Was a really good morning, and I was feeling happy, and pleased with myself that I got to make Yubo breakfast and that he really enjoyed it. After that, I decided to sleep for a while longer. During that sleep, I woke up several times after a series of short dreams. Maybe one wasn't bad, but that one only lasted a second before I woke from it. Another one, the one I can only remember a clip of, had something to do with his mom. In my dream, I had a bad dream. When I woke up in the dream, I tried to sketch the idea. All I got were eyes and bags drawn under the eyes. Then I woke up from that.
I've been reading up on nightmares a little bit, and it says that they can be caused by stress. Gah.. every ailment I've had in the past couple of months have been due to stress. x.x;; I can't even think of what I should be stressed about. I don't NEED to get a job right now. I figured the time off would actually give me time to get myself together. It's not about Fry's anymore. And I seem to be taking about a lot of stuff on Yubo. I'll suddenly be frustrated with him, and it'll carry for the rest of the day. I try to fight it. I try to be friendly.. but it doesn't seem to work. I shut off and I don't respond to him. I want to hurt him or make him feel like a jerk when he's done nothing wrong at all. I have this constant tension in my body. It's like I want to be touched and cuddled and taken care of, but not by him. And that makes me feel even more... strained and uneasy... because he should be the one I go to.. right?
::blink:: I think the raptor dream was actually this morning. o.o... I'm really losing track of days. I didn't even take a nap today. Geez... I feel like I'm going crazy. I need a break from myself. @.@;;
---
My Thoughts
I decided to paste just about the entire entry from my dj instead of just cutting out the dreams, especially since I wasn't very clear except for the raptor dreams. It seems the way my mind deals with stress is still the same now as it was back then. I do feel I'm shutting myself away from Yubo again, even though it still seems like I don't have a good reason to be stressed out. The most recent demon and divorce nightmares are still troublesome... mostly because they were fairly powerful dreams.
December 7, 2005
The Dream
A cat was hatched from an egg. The family brought it to the vet to put in an incubator, which was just a big cage. In the next room, the vet was trying to figure out why a dog wasn't eating. She gave him regular dog food, which she was eating herself to taste, and he ate it. Then she found a small white packet in his food dish that was partially open. Upon examination, the vet said it was to flavor the dog food to taste like cat food. The dog food was brown. The cat food flavoring was black, so you could see where it was. The vet tried it, and spit it out in disgust. She figured this was why the dog wasn't eating.
---
My Thoughts
An interesting way to end the dreams of 2005. I'm not even sure how to respond to this dream. But this is also the first recorded dream up here in WA.
A cat was hatched from an egg. The family brought it to the vet to put in an incubator, which was just a big cage. In the next room, the vet was trying to figure out why a dog wasn't eating. She gave him regular dog food, which she was eating herself to taste, and he ate it. Then she found a small white packet in his food dish that was partially open. Upon examination, the vet said it was to flavor the dog food to taste like cat food. The dog food was brown. The cat food flavoring was black, so you could see where it was. The vet tried it, and spit it out in disgust. She figured this was why the dog wasn't eating.
---
My Thoughts
An interesting way to end the dreams of 2005. I'm not even sure how to respond to this dream. But this is also the first recorded dream up here in WA.
October 27, 2005
The Dream
In a living room with Yubo. He paused a game to look at a guide for the part where he's stuck. I hook up a system and switch channels to play my game. He gets mad at me. I get mad at him because he always gets to play his games and I never get to play mine, but I don't say anything and just sulk.
Then Neko comes over, and we're waiting for people to arrive. Godai and Wakko come next. When I turn back to the room, almost everyone's there already.
Then something about being trapped in a big square room. The walls are old clay and dirt type stuff. We're supposed to push panels and squares in the walls to get out, but if we push the wrong ones, we can die... but we don't. It just resets, like in a game with save points.
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My Thoughts
If only life really had save points. LoL. Well, not really. I do still get frustrated sometimes that Yubo hogs either the television or the computer to play his games and won't let me play mine (when I'm actually in the mood to play a game instead of crying in the corner waiting for him to notice me).
In a living room with Yubo. He paused a game to look at a guide for the part where he's stuck. I hook up a system and switch channels to play my game. He gets mad at me. I get mad at him because he always gets to play his games and I never get to play mine, but I don't say anything and just sulk.
Then Neko comes over, and we're waiting for people to arrive. Godai and Wakko come next. When I turn back to the room, almost everyone's there already.
Then something about being trapped in a big square room. The walls are old clay and dirt type stuff. We're supposed to push panels and squares in the walls to get out, but if we push the wrong ones, we can die... but we don't. It just resets, like in a game with save points.
---
My Thoughts
If only life really had save points. LoL. Well, not really. I do still get frustrated sometimes that Yubo hogs either the television or the computer to play his games and won't let me play mine (when I'm actually in the mood to play a game instead of crying in the corner waiting for him to notice me).
Unrecorded date, but some time between 10/9/05 and 10/27/05
The Dream
In an elevator. Don't know if it's going up or down. I think it was Yubo in there with me with another girl I didn't know. She was blonde. We were exorcising a demon from her. I just held my fingers in a cross and was yelling at her that Jesus loves her and Jesus is with her and stuff like that. Something shifted under her skin. The elevator doors opened. We stepped out, but I knew the demon was still in her.
---
My Thoughts
Goodness gracious. What is with me and demons and exorcising? Hilarious visual of my technique though. Interesting that I wasn't a Christian yet at this time. Of course, I had the influence of Yubo and his family, but I wasn't serious about even seeking Christ at this time.
And really, what's with me and strange blonde women that I don't know??
In an elevator. Don't know if it's going up or down. I think it was Yubo in there with me with another girl I didn't know. She was blonde. We were exorcising a demon from her. I just held my fingers in a cross and was yelling at her that Jesus loves her and Jesus is with her and stuff like that. Something shifted under her skin. The elevator doors opened. We stepped out, but I knew the demon was still in her.
---
My Thoughts
Goodness gracious. What is with me and demons and exorcising? Hilarious visual of my technique though. Interesting that I wasn't a Christian yet at this time. Of course, I had the influence of Yubo and his family, but I wasn't serious about even seeking Christ at this time.
And really, what's with me and strange blonde women that I don't know??
October 9, 2005
The Dream
Choir tour again in some Vegas-type place that's also a little Hawaii. In a hotel that doesn't have locks on the door. My group was running late to meet up with the rest of the group. While I was waiting in the lobby, I realize I'm not wearing a bra. I run back up to my room. When i walk in, someone is in the shower. The entire room is cleaned up. All of my stuff is packed away and I didn't do it. It took me longer to find my bra, and when i found it, it was brand new and I had to put it together myself. The back wasn't attached, and there was a pack of different sized gel pads.
Then I couldn't find my wallet, but it was on the table. I kept getting phone calls and text messages. Pochin was calling me to come down. Text messages were about my birthday, which was in two days. Oh yeah, going through my suitcase, all my dirty clothes were mixed with my clean clothes and were folded all nice too.
Leaving the room, some random girl came out of the bathroom. I ignored her and rushed down and met up with Pochin while everyone came into the lobby from outside. I still hadn't assembled the bra.
---
My Thoughts
LoL. What a ridiculous design for a bra. And of course, my actual birthday is not October 11... although I suppose I can't say that the date IN the dream was the same date that I had the dream.
Choir tour again in some Vegas-type place that's also a little Hawaii. In a hotel that doesn't have locks on the door. My group was running late to meet up with the rest of the group. While I was waiting in the lobby, I realize I'm not wearing a bra. I run back up to my room. When i walk in, someone is in the shower. The entire room is cleaned up. All of my stuff is packed away and I didn't do it. It took me longer to find my bra, and when i found it, it was brand new and I had to put it together myself. The back wasn't attached, and there was a pack of different sized gel pads.
Leaving the room, some random girl came out of the bathroom. I ignored her and rushed down and met up with Pochin while everyone came into the lobby from outside. I still hadn't assembled the bra.
---
My Thoughts
LoL. What a ridiculous design for a bra. And of course, my actual birthday is not October 11... although I suppose I can't say that the date IN the dream was the same date that I had the dream.
October 1, 2005
The Dream
Only dream I remember: Outside of a house with a bunch of people. It's my house, but it's a mix of Guardian's house and the house on Avondale. It's 7:30, I think in the morning. Akemi is supposed to be at school. There's a phone call that they're waiting for her. A truck pulls up. It's red. A guy inside, the driver, says he's supposed to take everyone to school. It doesn't make sense to me because he just has a truck and we have a lot of people. He says he was instructed to meet everyone at the condo. I tell him we all met here at my house, and give him the address 360 N Moore. He approves, then says I need to get the house ready for them. I count out 18 people, then more show up and it's 21. I get confused, so I ask them to count off again while I set up the living room. I was thinking, "Lucky we met here because San's place is too small." We were supposed to eat, and I set up plates for everyone on the floor where newspaper was laid out because we didn't have a big enough table. I offered the sofa to those who weren't comfortable on the floor. There was no food, and no one seemed to notice, and we all watched T.V.
Next dream: In a big room with A/S. It was like a classroom. I had an activity for them. I wanted them to have a friend draw their face on construction paper. Then cut out the pieces and paste it back on another piece of paper. Instead, they ended up gluing the pieces onto their own faces, and I had big fake lashes for the girls, and they had weird wigs and plastic head thingies. Ei-chan was there. So was Pochin, and for some reason, Dustin. Dustin had a squid on his head. I was yelling at the boys to stop messing around and do the activity. Then some of the girls, maybe about 7 of them, suddenly had tinsel pom-poms and where cheering for something.
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My Thoughts
Oh, the days when big family dinners were laid out on top of newspaper on the floor. Well, for any meal, part of preparing the table was laying out newspaper. Asian thing?
I'm copying these straight from my notebook. When it starts off with "Only dream I remember," and follows with "Next dream," that probably means I went back to sleep after writing down the only dream I remember from the first series of dreams.
Only dream I remember: Outside of a house with a bunch of people. It's my house, but it's a mix of Guardian's house and the house on Avondale. It's 7:30, I think in the morning. Akemi is supposed to be at school. There's a phone call that they're waiting for her. A truck pulls up. It's red. A guy inside, the driver, says he's supposed to take everyone to school. It doesn't make sense to me because he just has a truck and we have a lot of people. He says he was instructed to meet everyone at the condo. I tell him we all met here at my house, and give him the address 360 N Moore. He approves, then says I need to get the house ready for them. I count out 18 people, then more show up and it's 21. I get confused, so I ask them to count off again while I set up the living room. I was thinking, "Lucky we met here because San's place is too small." We were supposed to eat, and I set up plates for everyone on the floor where newspaper was laid out because we didn't have a big enough table. I offered the sofa to those who weren't comfortable on the floor. There was no food, and no one seemed to notice, and we all watched T.V.
Next dream: In a big room with A/S. It was like a classroom. I had an activity for them. I wanted them to have a friend draw their face on construction paper. Then cut out the pieces and paste it back on another piece of paper. Instead, they ended up gluing the pieces onto their own faces, and I had big fake lashes for the girls, and they had weird wigs and plastic head thingies. Ei-chan was there. So was Pochin, and for some reason, Dustin. Dustin had a squid on his head. I was yelling at the boys to stop messing around and do the activity. Then some of the girls, maybe about 7 of them, suddenly had tinsel pom-poms and where cheering for something.
---
My Thoughts
Oh, the days when big family dinners were laid out on top of newspaper on the floor. Well, for any meal, part of preparing the table was laying out newspaper. Asian thing?
I'm copying these straight from my notebook. When it starts off with "Only dream I remember," and follows with "Next dream," that probably means I went back to sleep after writing down the only dream I remember from the first series of dreams.
Monday, August 16, 2010
August 16, 2010
The Dream
I actually can't recall too much of this dream. As soon as I woke up, I worked to to dislodge it from my mind. But I will still try to write what I remember.
Basically, Yubo hated me, wanted nothing to do with me, and after only 4 months already wanted a divorce. We fought and yelled. We tried having make-up sex, and it didn't feel good at all. He couldn't even keep it up for me. It was an enormous mess. At some point I walked away in a huff. When I returned with tears and apologies, he completely ignored me with a smile. I snapped again. Somewhere in there, something was said along the lines of my not even being good enough to be his whore. He was just happy to wash his hands of me.
Not much longer after the fight, it was a strange mix of things. Something about my needing to sign a petition of some sort because J was running for office...? But the image of Yubo kept drifting by, passing windows, walking down the street.... like he was haunting me. There was actually another guy doing the exact same thing. Can't remember who he was though. Perhaps, in the dream, another ex?
The strange thing was that I couldn't remember J's name. I recalled his middle name, but couldn't figure out what his first name was. It wasn't until I had to drive to the post office (or bank?) to drop off his paperwork that I remembered his name. Starts with a J. Duh, that should've helped me out long time ago.
In the parking lot of the post office/bank, Yubo appeared in the back seat. I turned around and hit his leg, telling him to leave me alone already. He told me he finally finished his response to my letter. He pointed in front of me to an old brown street sign that had this poem of some sort displayed on it. It made horrible sense. But it amounted to his apology to me. I think we ended up being okay in the end.
My Thoughts
The dream ended on a somewhat good note. I woke up a little perplexed. Checked the time as I always do when I wake up (it was just getting to 6am). Went to the bathroom, then got back into bed. I took the time to try and shake Yubo awake, and asked him if he would hold me. He moaned that he would, and all was fine, until I said, "Please." I don't know if the word actually made it completely out of my mouth before it turned into a sob. Thankfully the sob alerted him awake, and he quickly rolled over to hold me. I have no idea what I would have done if he didn't wake up. So I clung to him and wailed. I kept telling myself it was a dream, forcing myself to realize that he was there next to me and willing to hold and comfort me.
I eventually had to sit up and try to keep my eyes open so that I wouldn't go back to that place. I even put my glasses on. Sitting up, I kept grabbing his hand -- yes, his wedding ring is still there -- and putting a hand on his face. He thought he had died. I felt kinda bad telling him that it wasn't his epic death that was causing this reaction.
He's back to sleep now, and I'm still recovering.
I actually can't recall too much of this dream. As soon as I woke up, I worked to to dislodge it from my mind. But I will still try to write what I remember.
Basically, Yubo hated me, wanted nothing to do with me, and after only 4 months already wanted a divorce. We fought and yelled. We tried having make-up sex, and it didn't feel good at all. He couldn't even keep it up for me. It was an enormous mess. At some point I walked away in a huff. When I returned with tears and apologies, he completely ignored me with a smile. I snapped again. Somewhere in there, something was said along the lines of my not even being good enough to be his whore. He was just happy to wash his hands of me.
Not much longer after the fight, it was a strange mix of things. Something about my needing to sign a petition of some sort because J was running for office...? But the image of Yubo kept drifting by, passing windows, walking down the street.... like he was haunting me. There was actually another guy doing the exact same thing. Can't remember who he was though. Perhaps, in the dream, another ex?
The strange thing was that I couldn't remember J's name. I recalled his middle name, but couldn't figure out what his first name was. It wasn't until I had to drive to the post office (or bank?) to drop off his paperwork that I remembered his name. Starts with a J. Duh, that should've helped me out long time ago.
In the parking lot of the post office/bank, Yubo appeared in the back seat. I turned around and hit his leg, telling him to leave me alone already. He told me he finally finished his response to my letter. He pointed in front of me to an old brown street sign that had this poem of some sort displayed on it. It made horrible sense. But it amounted to his apology to me. I think we ended up being okay in the end.
My Thoughts
The dream ended on a somewhat good note. I woke up a little perplexed. Checked the time as I always do when I wake up (it was just getting to 6am). Went to the bathroom, then got back into bed. I took the time to try and shake Yubo awake, and asked him if he would hold me. He moaned that he would, and all was fine, until I said, "Please." I don't know if the word actually made it completely out of my mouth before it turned into a sob. Thankfully the sob alerted him awake, and he quickly rolled over to hold me. I have no idea what I would have done if he didn't wake up. So I clung to him and wailed. I kept telling myself it was a dream, forcing myself to realize that he was there next to me and willing to hold and comfort me.
I eventually had to sit up and try to keep my eyes open so that I wouldn't go back to that place. I even put my glasses on. Sitting up, I kept grabbing his hand -- yes, his wedding ring is still there -- and putting a hand on his face. He thought he had died. I felt kinda bad telling him that it wasn't his epic death that was causing this reaction.
He's back to sleep now, and I'm still recovering.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
August 15, 2010
The Dream
It started off with me needing to find a new place to live. I suppose Yubo and I weren't married yet. I had 3 options, none of which I liked. So I lied to them: I told 1 I was going to 2, 2 I was going to 3, and 3 I was staying with 1.
My lied was just about exposed when 2 came to help me move from 1 to 3, when everyone that was there to help me move thought I was going to 2. So I ended up with 2.
When we moved my stuff to her place, we sat around a dining table to talk about the situation. 2 and her husband were sitting in a large bath tub that was in the living room. They were fully clothed, and there was no water, but they were lounging like they were soaking.
Someone said we should have a barbeque on Sunday to celebrate me finding a new place to stay. The husband firmly declined. He said they don't do anything at all on Sundays. Of course, the first thing that popped into my head was, "What about going to church?" Then I realized, and mentioned to Yubo, that now we were on opposite sides of the freeway, with me being closer to church than him. If I had the car, it would be an incredible hassle to pick him up to go to church.
Then we were at some restaurant. 2 was about to leave, and I asked her what I should do since (if I ever went back to her place) I didn't have the house key. She didn't understand why I needed a key, and was just being really dumb about the whole situation. As soon as she left, everyone at the table muttered something about her under our breath.
At this restaurant, waiters came to our table bringing food. They asked who ordered what, and we told them we hadn't ordered yet. We hadn't even gotten menus yet. The main waiter, this really hot fob that unfortunately didn't speak much English, told us that although we didn't order, here was our food. So the waiters just laid out this feast before us.
There was some addition to one of the dishes that needed to be specially cooked. The main waiter asked how I wanted it cooked. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I told him I would trust him.
At some point, instead of sitting around a table, it seemed like we were sitting at a sushi bar, but there weren't any chefs right in front of us.
I think it was Dorothy on my right that leaned over and said, "That megane, I wonder why she isn't working." I tried to look for who she was talking about, but there were 5 other people that were wearing glasses. She finally pointed out this girl that was talking to a young man, flirting instead of working. I told Dorothy I had trouble figuring out who she was talking about, and she laughed because she didn't realize there were other people wearing glasses.
Archie, on my left, wanted in on the joke, so I told her. Then we were trying to figure out who that girl was. We knew her, but we simply couldn't remember her name. We remembered all sorts of things about her, but couldn't remember her name. I thought it was Priscilla, but no... she was the one that gave a candle to Priscilla. Because all three of us were having such a difficult time trying to remember her name, we couldn't stop laughing.
My Thoughts
I've had many dreams where I woke up gasping, breathing hard, and/or crying. Most of those dreams involved my dad somehow. I have never had a dream where I was short of breath upon waking because I was laughing so hard in the dream. So although I woke up still feeling sleepy, I had a smile on my face.
Such a strange occurrence that I had to drag myself out of bed to write it down.
It started off with me needing to find a new place to live. I suppose Yubo and I weren't married yet. I had 3 options, none of which I liked. So I lied to them: I told 1 I was going to 2, 2 I was going to 3, and 3 I was staying with 1.
My lied was just about exposed when 2 came to help me move from 1 to 3, when everyone that was there to help me move thought I was going to 2. So I ended up with 2.
When we moved my stuff to her place, we sat around a dining table to talk about the situation. 2 and her husband were sitting in a large bath tub that was in the living room. They were fully clothed, and there was no water, but they were lounging like they were soaking.
Someone said we should have a barbeque on Sunday to celebrate me finding a new place to stay. The husband firmly declined. He said they don't do anything at all on Sundays. Of course, the first thing that popped into my head was, "What about going to church?" Then I realized, and mentioned to Yubo, that now we were on opposite sides of the freeway, with me being closer to church than him. If I had the car, it would be an incredible hassle to pick him up to go to church.
Then we were at some restaurant. 2 was about to leave, and I asked her what I should do since (if I ever went back to her place) I didn't have the house key. She didn't understand why I needed a key, and was just being really dumb about the whole situation. As soon as she left, everyone at the table muttered something about her under our breath.
At this restaurant, waiters came to our table bringing food. They asked who ordered what, and we told them we hadn't ordered yet. We hadn't even gotten menus yet. The main waiter, this really hot fob that unfortunately didn't speak much English, told us that although we didn't order, here was our food. So the waiters just laid out this feast before us.
There was some addition to one of the dishes that needed to be specially cooked. The main waiter asked how I wanted it cooked. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I told him I would trust him.
At some point, instead of sitting around a table, it seemed like we were sitting at a sushi bar, but there weren't any chefs right in front of us.
I think it was Dorothy on my right that leaned over and said, "That megane, I wonder why she isn't working." I tried to look for who she was talking about, but there were 5 other people that were wearing glasses. She finally pointed out this girl that was talking to a young man, flirting instead of working. I told Dorothy I had trouble figuring out who she was talking about, and she laughed because she didn't realize there were other people wearing glasses.
Archie, on my left, wanted in on the joke, so I told her. Then we were trying to figure out who that girl was. We knew her, but we simply couldn't remember her name. We remembered all sorts of things about her, but couldn't remember her name. I thought it was Priscilla, but no... she was the one that gave a candle to Priscilla. Because all three of us were having such a difficult time trying to remember her name, we couldn't stop laughing.
My Thoughts
I've had many dreams where I woke up gasping, breathing hard, and/or crying. Most of those dreams involved my dad somehow. I have never had a dream where I was short of breath upon waking because I was laughing so hard in the dream. So although I woke up still feeling sleepy, I had a smile on my face.
Such a strange occurrence that I had to drag myself out of bed to write it down.
Friday, August 13, 2010
August 25, 2005
The Dream
I went to get a tattoo. I think I asked for a heart with wings. Got it on my right shoulder. For some reason, Yubo was there to help stitch. When they were done, it didn't hurt at all. It wasn't even bleeding. When I looked at it in the mirror in my room, it was an elaborate view of an island from above with a flock of birds flying away. The positions of the birds created an extended wing.
It was really vibrant with colors. When I was looking at it in the mirror, it would shift to a spot where I could see it.
I had to go take a shower so I kept trying to hide it by keeping my towel draped over my shoulders. Then there was this young blonde girl that I guess was my friend. She was so excited about the tattoo and was trying to help me find ways to cover it. I remembered I had to put something on it, but I didn't have neosporin or lotion, so I put toothpaste. Then the girl tried to help me dress.
-
We wanted to try to put on a play about this hilarious movie. I was the space ship. Jo-chan was the king-type that emerged from the whip in all his glory, complete with cape and small tree branches that looked like
I went to get a tattoo. I think I asked for a heart with wings. Got it on my right shoulder. For some reason, Yubo was there to help stitch. When they were done, it didn't hurt at all. It wasn't even bleeding. When I looked at it in the mirror in my room, it was an elaborate view of an island from above with a flock of birds flying away. The positions of the birds created an extended wing.
It was really vibrant with colors. When I was looking at it in the mirror, it would shift to a spot where I could see it.
I had to go take a shower so I kept trying to hide it by keeping my towel draped over my shoulders. Then there was this young blonde girl that I guess was my friend. She was so excited about the tattoo and was trying to help me find ways to cover it. I remembered I had to put something on it, but I didn't have neosporin or lotion, so I put toothpaste. Then the girl tried to help me dress.
-
We wanted to try to put on a play about this hilarious movie. I was the space ship. Jo-chan was the king-type that emerged from the whip in all his glory, complete with cape and small tree branches that looked like
He held one in each hand.
Flash to trying to show J the movie. I showed the wrong movie though... some fish movie that ended up being called, "Princesses [something]." There were singing fish and a random human girl and Dr.Seuss type characters, blue ones trying to take over a colorful town and make it boring and blue.
After the movie, J was trying to show me how he got to use swords in his last play, but he was all retarded about it, and very unskilled in demo-ing.
-
I had a banana open on a table outside. Above the banana hung a large plastic bowl with sticky paper on the inside. I was trying to catch mosquitoes.
-
Making out with Mark. I had to force kisses on him because he liked that, and he'd make noises. <-- such a lie cuz he doesn't make noise at all.
---
My Thoughts
This is probably my favorite series of dreams. Each dream happened in one night, broken up by all the times that I briefly woke up. Or a dream actually completed and a new one started. I just about forgot about the tattoo dream. When talking about dreams to other people, I usually mention that giant koala one and this Dr.Seuss one. I wonder why blue was such a negative color -- blue demons, and blue creatures trying to take over a town.
The tattoo dream was pretty awesome. I can still see the tattoo. I want to say that this was the dream where, upon looking at the tattoo, the "camera" zoomed in on the tattoo and entered it's world... so to speak.
Oftentimes, my dreams are like movies. I had another one that I can't find where I wrote it down. It was full of camera angles and character flashbacks though.
Three boyfriends in this series of dreams though... Yubo, J, and Mark. And I can't help but still find that mosquito one hilarious.
August 12, 2005
The Dream
Was on MySpace looking at Bryan's and it turned all Mexican with pictures from that damn movie that Harpo always watches. Also 909 or 949 pride, can't remember which.
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My Thoughts
Um... alright then. The movie is "Blood In, Blood Out," according to Yubo. Harpo was a guy that took over the couch at Joe's (Yubo's best friend) condo down in Cali. 909 is San Bernardino. 949 is South Orange County.
Was on MySpace looking at Bryan's and it turned all Mexican with pictures from that damn movie that Harpo always watches. Also 909 or 949 pride, can't remember which.
---
My Thoughts
Um... alright then. The movie is "Blood In, Blood Out," according to Yubo. Harpo was a guy that took over the couch at Joe's (Yubo's best friend) condo down in Cali. 909 is San Bernardino. 949 is South Orange County.
August 11, 2005
The Dream
INTESNE self-bad dream. Woke up a little horny. Then went back to sleep.
Was rehearsing a play. It was like a bunch of little skits put together. Aki was my partner. We were abandoned toys. Then the show started. I realized I wasn't sure if I had all my lines memorized. Dom was playing some lady in the opening skit. All of us stayed frozen on stage. Dom's partner was this puppet-looking thing that comes out of a bubble bath. She walks around with bubbles on her boobs and crotch. Something went wrong and the bubbles fell off. I ran to help. For some reason, glued bubbles onto my cheeks. Was almost late for my skit to start. People kept asking me questions on stage. Got through the skit, but it felt like they just moved on because we didn't know our lines. Aki slumped over me like a toy, but he kept swaying and I was trying to hold still.
Before that, something about going to an Angels game with Yubo, but he wanted to sit in crap seats. I think Yubo ended up being Koji.
After, something about having to cut off a kitten's balls. o.0?? Didn't do it. A cat person girl thing walked up to me and offered me a paper and pen. I was supposed to draw a picture for her so she wouldn't forget me. I drew this weird chibi cat girl and signed it.
---
My Thoughts
Ugh. I hate dreams where I'm on stage and don't know what I'm doing. If it's acting, I don't know my lines or the blocking. If it's show choir, I don't know the songs, the set, the choreography. Kinda makes me glad I don't do those things anymore.... as much as I miss the stage.
The idea of people turning into other people in my dreams is still a little weird to me.
INTESNE self-bad dream. Woke up a little horny. Then went back to sleep.
Was rehearsing a play. It was like a bunch of little skits put together. Aki was my partner. We were abandoned toys. Then the show started. I realized I wasn't sure if I had all my lines memorized. Dom was playing some lady in the opening skit. All of us stayed frozen on stage. Dom's partner was this puppet-looking thing that comes out of a bubble bath. She walks around with bubbles on her boobs and crotch. Something went wrong and the bubbles fell off. I ran to help. For some reason, glued bubbles onto my cheeks. Was almost late for my skit to start. People kept asking me questions on stage. Got through the skit, but it felt like they just moved on because we didn't know our lines. Aki slumped over me like a toy, but he kept swaying and I was trying to hold still.
Before that, something about going to an Angels game with Yubo, but he wanted to sit in crap seats. I think Yubo ended up being Koji.
After, something about having to cut off a kitten's balls. o.0?? Didn't do it. A cat person girl thing walked up to me and offered me a paper and pen. I was supposed to draw a picture for her so she wouldn't forget me. I drew this weird chibi cat girl and signed it.
---
My Thoughts
Ugh. I hate dreams where I'm on stage and don't know what I'm doing. If it's acting, I don't know my lines or the blocking. If it's show choir, I don't know the songs, the set, the choreography. Kinda makes me glad I don't do those things anymore.... as much as I miss the stage.
The idea of people turning into other people in my dreams is still a little weird to me.
August 7, 2005
The Dream
Driving to this casino that's always in my dreams. They had the upper level parking blocked off. Had to park underground. Was annoying because they were blocking off things when people still needed to get down. For some reason, ended up driving on the sidewalk for a bit. Then was in a restaurant thing with Archie and some other people. Akemi was a waitress there. Amanda and some other people I was supposed to know, which included two guys that were crossdressing, were entertainment.
I curled up in the booth partially on top of Archie's legs and was waiting for Akemi to drape herself on top of me.
---
My Thoughts
Perhaps this was around the time that Ragnorok Online came out? Or got popular. Or just around the time when I learned about it. Anyhow, there's this adorable little blob monster or something. In it's honor, I created something called the "blob attack," which was simply glomping someone... but in slow motion. So it's sort of like engulfing... perhaps. Anyway, that's what I was waiting for in the dream. I was starting a blob pile.
Driving to this casino that's always in my dreams. They had the upper level parking blocked off. Had to park underground. Was annoying because they were blocking off things when people still needed to get down. For some reason, ended up driving on the sidewalk for a bit. Then was in a restaurant thing with Archie and some other people. Akemi was a waitress there. Amanda and some other people I was supposed to know, which included two guys that were crossdressing, were entertainment.
I curled up in the booth partially on top of Archie's legs and was waiting for Akemi to drape herself on top of me.
---
My Thoughts
Perhaps this was around the time that Ragnorok Online came out? Or got popular. Or just around the time when I learned about it. Anyhow, there's this adorable little blob monster or something. In it's honor, I created something called the "blob attack," which was simply glomping someone... but in slow motion. So it's sort of like engulfing... perhaps. Anyway, that's what I was waiting for in the dream. I was starting a blob pile.
August 6, 2005
The Dream
At the condo. Opened the fridge and there were three loaves of bread. Looked on the counter and there was another line of bread. I asked, "Why is there so much bread?" Betz was baking. He told me to touch it cuz it felt soft. He opened the oven and there was a pan of three or four, like they have at Subway. I touched one and it was soft and felt gooey but it didn't stick to my fingers. I asked him why he's baking so much, and he said, "Because it's so cool!" And we got into an argument about baking so much bread when no one's gonna eat it.
---
My Thoughts
I believe at this time I was still working at a Subway. Perhaps that's why the overload of bread? Also, Betz -- who is Yubo's foster brother -- was someone that I found to be quite annoying.
At the condo. Opened the fridge and there were three loaves of bread. Looked on the counter and there was another line of bread. I asked, "Why is there so much bread?" Betz was baking. He told me to touch it cuz it felt soft. He opened the oven and there was a pan of three or four, like they have at Subway. I touched one and it was soft and felt gooey but it didn't stick to my fingers. I asked him why he's baking so much, and he said, "Because it's so cool!" And we got into an argument about baking so much bread when no one's gonna eat it.
---
My Thoughts
I believe at this time I was still working at a Subway. Perhaps that's why the overload of bread? Also, Betz -- who is Yubo's foster brother -- was someone that I found to be quite annoying.
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