The Dream
So for some reason in the past two or three days, I've been having nightmares. I only remember the main part of one and a clip of another one though.
The one I remember happened, I believe, Thursday or Friday night. I was being attacked by raptors, and they were really smart. They were trying to trap me and whoever was with me. I remember shooting at two spots because those were where the raptors were hiding for a bit. Then I was crouched in a room, aiming at the door. I was waiting for the boss raptor. He crossed by a window, and so I aimed for where his head would be when he go to the door. When he got there, my reaction was slow. Suddenly, instead of being in a room, I was in a car. I tried firing at him, but the gun wouldn't go off. Then he backed off, and hit the car with his tail. He was walking around the car, as if he was building up suspense before he really attacked me. Then his head was in the door, and I was still trying to fire at him but nothing came out.
On Saturday morning, I woke up early to make Yubo breakfast before he had to go to work. Was a really good morning, and I was feeling happy, and pleased with myself that I got to make Yubo breakfast and that he really enjoyed it. After that, I decided to sleep for a while longer. During that sleep, I woke up several times after a series of short dreams. Maybe one wasn't bad, but that one only lasted a second before I woke from it. Another one, the one I can only remember a clip of, had something to do with his mom. In my dream, I had a bad dream. When I woke up in the dream, I tried to sketch the idea. All I got were eyes and bags drawn under the eyes. Then I woke up from that.
I've been reading up on nightmares a little bit, and it says that they can be caused by stress. Gah.. every ailment I've had in the past couple of months have been due to stress. x.x;; I can't even think of what I should be stressed about. I don't NEED to get a job right now. I figured the time off would actually give me time to get myself together. It's not about Fry's anymore. And I seem to be taking about a lot of stuff on Yubo. I'll suddenly be frustrated with him, and it'll carry for the rest of the day. I try to fight it. I try to be friendly.. but it doesn't seem to work. I shut off and I don't respond to him. I want to hurt him or make him feel like a jerk when he's done nothing wrong at all. I have this constant tension in my body. It's like I want to be touched and cuddled and taken care of, but not by him. And that makes me feel even more... strained and uneasy... because he should be the one I go to.. right?
::blink:: I think the raptor dream was actually this morning. o.o... I'm really losing track of days. I didn't even take a nap today. Geez... I feel like I'm going crazy. I need a break from myself. @.@;;
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My Thoughts
I decided to paste just about the entire entry from my dj instead of just cutting out the dreams, especially since I wasn't very clear except for the raptor dreams. It seems the way my mind deals with stress is still the same now as it was back then. I do feel I'm shutting myself away from Yubo again, even though it still seems like I don't have a good reason to be stressed out. The most recent demon and divorce nightmares are still troublesome... mostly because they were fairly powerful dreams.
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